Empire: Total War Shoutcasts #3 & #4

Empire: Total War Shoutcast #2

This fight features:

Me, as Prussia
vs.

Doodoo Butter

Was a bit static at first, neither side willing to engage; merely exchanging shots on the extreme flanks. But then it hit the fan...

Empire: Total War Shoutcast #1

Recently, E:TW added the new grassy flatlands map. This has significantly increased the number of players looking for a fight.

One of those players was your's truly. This fight features:

Me, as Prussia
vs.
Colonel Williams, as Great Britain

Anatomy of the Con

Bored witless during missions?

Unlucky in lootdrops and ransoms?

Frustrated in your attempts at scamming?

Well fear not, my compatriots, for the Master of the Art of Scamming is about to impart his secrets upon yee favored ones.

Step 1. Gather up a decent number of renamed 'faction' ships. You'll need at least 6 'faction' cruisers and 2 'faction' battleships.

Explanation: The cruisers are for all the small fry who have maybe 1 or 2 hundred mil, but are still stupid enough to fall for your scam. The battleships are for the international playboy types who have deep pockets, there's nothing wrong with having a bunch of 'faction' battleships, just keep it believable. After all, if you have 20 'faction' battleships... that's gonna be hard to explain.

Step 2. Create a believable cover story which:

A: Explains your need for selling this ships now, and at a reduced price

B: Explains your lack of contracts Explanation: Anyone can sell a 'Navy Mega' for it's proper price. But what are the chances that some1 will buy your fake navy mega over a legit one? Slim, probably. You need something to entice more people towards your deal, and hopefully snag that one guy who will believe it.

That thing, for me at least, was a reduced price. Eg, I sell my navy vexors for 50m (not 80-100m) and navy megas for 300m (not 400m). I also make sure to point out the 'normal' price to all my potential customers.

My preferred cover story is that I'm moving to Jita, and stand to make more money than I'm losing in this 'deal'. Also, all my contracts are tied up in couriers.

Step 3. Look at your station guest list, and start convoing 4-5 at a time, proposing your deal and informing any parties of your deal.

Explanation: This very efficiently allows you to reach 100+ people very quickly. Pretty much the only people who talk with you are interested.

Step 4: Reel them in.

Explanation: This takes practice, and an understanding of the minutae of human interaction. You must gain their trust, understand what motivates them to take your deal, and what hinders them in doing so. For the most part, greed and distrust are the motivators and deal killers.

4b. Let them go, if necessary.

Explanation: If they clearly state they are not interested/want a contract etc. Just let them go, play aloof ship dealer who knows he'll have no problem selling stuff. Don't waste five minutes begging them to buy your ship. Often, I've received convos later when they've reconsidered and want to deal. Also, that five minutes you waste on them can be spent on someone more credulous.

5. Profit!

5a. All tears are recorded in chat logs, try and keep them going on particularly big sells, they often create a large amount of delicious tears.

5b. Yesterday, in the span of 35 minutes, I made 2.2 Billion isk. Below is the donor list, as well as selected chat logs.

Amount, in Mil. Name. Eve Time.

850,000,000------- Divad Ebur------14:30

600,000,000------ Goliath Dark------14:14

400,000,000------- Amira Lana------14:31

300,000,000-------- Inferatus-------13:56

50,000,000-------- freelander1------14:02

NOTE: I recommend you use a different story and ship type (vexor, mega) than mine. If only because many people have interacted with me and may thus be onto you (and vice versa). Some systems I recommend: Amarr, Dodixie, Hek.

Apendix A: Chat log of a 850m score:

ME > Hey there

ME > I presume you're interested in my offer?

Divad Ebur > yes i sure am

ME > Righto, I have 2 navy megas, and 5 navy vexors

Divad Ebur > the vexor still avail?

ME > yeppers

Divad Ebur > good deal

Divad Ebur > how about 250 for the 5 vexors? and both megas for 300 each?

ME > Um, sure

I'm stoked, but don't let him know it.

ME > Thats like 850m?

Play carefree dude, don't be piratey and '850m or your life!'. That doesn't work here.

Divad Ebur > 850mill yep

ME > I'll throw them all in whenever you're ready

Put the burden of initiative on him, make him think about what HE has to do, not you (and thus the ships)

Divad Ebur > k

ME > Do you have 850m?

Play hard to satisfy, if he thinks you're afraid of getting scammed by him, he won't be that scared of you.

Divad Ebur > yep. 1.7bil

ME > kk

But don't take 'I'm afraid of scams' too far

ME > There they all are

ME > just waiting on you now m8

ME > 850m

ME > Ready

Divad Ebur > thanks

850m into my pocket.

ME > np

No problem, at all

Divad Ebur > enjoy your afternoon!

ME > I will lawl

Indeed, I will

Apendix B: 600m Score

ME > Hey there

Goliath Dark > o/

Goliath Dark > Megathron Navy Issues.. 300m each hm?

ME > I presume you're interested in my offer? (yeah, 2 of them)

ME > I also have 5 navy vexors

Goliath Dark > i take them if they are navy

Goliath Dark > the mega's

ME > All of them? 0_o

ME > oh, lol kk

ME > There they are, 600m please

ME > Ready

600m into my pocket

Goliath Dark > fuck i dont think^^ busterd lol

Hehe, speed is a good thing too, they don't think if they hurry.

ME > lol

Goliath Dark > now i have to find a idiot

ME > You didnt

ME > Shouldn't take too long

ME > How much have you got left?

Goliath Dark > ^^ Goliath Dark > 93 mio

ME > lol

ME > owch owch owch

Owch owowowow

Apendix C: 400m Score

ME > What would you like to buy?

Amira Lana > all

ME > 2 Navy Megas and 5 Navy vexors?

ME > thats like 850m

Amira Lana > mega and only 2 vexor pleas

Amira Lana > for 400m

ME > Show me the isk then please

Amira Lana > hallo, what this

Amira Lana > you do acontract with 400m

ME > I don't have any contracts

Deflect the inevitable contract request in any reasonable way, it rarely works, but when it does...

Amira Lana > i accipt

300m for the 'navy mega'

ME > Ready when you are

ME > 100m for the two navy vexors

Amira Lana > ok

100m for the 'navy vexors'

ME > tyvm

Amira Lana > cu

Apendix D: Hate mail

I don't even know what the ordering of these are. A victim, Amira Lana (400m), and a few of her buddies mail me with vague threats of police action etc. Enjoy.

2009.08.23 19:44

2009.08.23 14:52

ME

you are a very bad

the ships are not navy ships, only from you the names.

you must giv me the 400 million back.

I give you 24 hour to retern the deal.

if not, then i send a pitition to ccp

hier is your convo opening:

2009.08.22 14:02

Here is my convo pasting.

----------------------------------------------------------

2009.08.23 15:11

hallo ME ,

this is avery very very bad.

and a big swindling, you are not gamer, you are a shark.

it is nat the 250m or 300m loos, what you doing it is not fair.

amira

------------------------------------------------------------

2009.08.23 19:44

2009.08.23 16:01

hi ME

with it I no other ones would walk against you undertakes, I ask you to accept the return contract.

I give you 24 hours for it, then I will write in CCP a Pitition, because of deception.

Also a police announcement is not excluded.

so to make it easier, take back your deceitful trade.

Amira Lana

-------------------------------

2009.08.23 16:32

yours amounted against amira lana

hi ME ,

is ashamed for this action

nevertheless, you are a player and no swindler.

so return Amira Lana her money and take your ships.

We want no problems with you

Jafar Aljabbar

-----------------------------------

2009.08.23 19:45

2009.08.23 17:16

hi ME

this is audacious, audacious amounted.

you give a normal ship a navy name and sell it as a navy ship.

However, this is not clever because CCP has everybody infos and you can get many problems, all that because of 300m

this is a shit

I Accidentally the Blue...

As the warp tunnel collapsed around my Taranis, ste sensors began peering into the depths of the asteroid belt.

It wasn't long before they found a dueling Taranis and Crusader. I instantly set my Taranis for full speed towards the duo. Just before I reached engagement range, the enemy Taranis took a direct hit in the bow, tumbled, and then disintegrated in a fiery explosion.

My Taranis' warp jammer and propulsion webifier were pushed beyond their operational limits, as I expected the Crusader to attempt to flee or hold it's distance.

Surprisingly, the Crusader sat there until I finally reached it and pointed it. It didn't do anything, until my blaster batteries began to pound away at it.

As all interceptor fights are, it was short and brutal, but I managed to land a direct hit on him while in 30% structure myself.

I immediatly pointed the pod, counting on the speed of the attack to prevent the enemy capsuleer from escaping in time. This time, my tackling gear managed to nab the pod.

I initiated a convo with the pilot, in an attempt to honorably ransom this foe. Suddenly, klaxons blared! A Republic Fleet Firetail had just landed! My ship, in it's current state, was useless. I immediately destroyed the pod, and attempted to escape.

But I was too slow, the warp drive was already shut down. My improved senses could already perceive the incoming, killer, blow about to land upon my Taranis. I instantly initiated escape proceedures, so as to avoid the fate of my prior victim. Fortunately, I managed to escape.

I realized that in my haste, I hadn't read the convo with the Crusader pilot, opening..:

[ 2009.08.26 00:41:21 ] Triksterism > We're blue

[ 2009.08.26 00:41:23 ] Triksterism > you fucking douche



Oh shit... he wasn't kidding.

Mind Warfare

This is why I came to WH space.
Me, against the many.
I have little firepower, and few defenses.
I have only my wits, and skills, against their superior firepower and numbers.

I slide through the depths of space, watching...
waiting...

Silent, but deadly.
They will know the meaning of fear
As they probe for me in futility.
Only to have me strike when they are lax.

I know where they are.
I know how many of them there are.
I know what they fly.

I know my enemy.
The enemy is mine.

The Curse

The sensors immediately began seeking my corp mate's ship as I got clearance to undock in my new Amarrian Force Recon ship, a Curse. The complete ship cost well over 100,000,000 ISK, most families are lucky to make 10,000 ISK in a single standard year, which equates to 10,000 standard years of labor (for them) and a few minutes for me.

That being said, it would be silly to fly this cap draining ship immediately into combat. None of my main line ships have ever been so radically different from my Blasterz n' Dronez approach to PvP. Thus, a corp mate had agreed to do a few test duels with me.

In short, Antigone's Revenge was kitted out as follows:

[Curse, Eater of Capacitors]
Damage Control II
Overdrive Injector System II
Nanofiber Internal Structure II
Nanofiber Internal Structure II

Large Shield Extender II
Large Shield Extender II
Invulnerability Field I
Y-T8 Overcharged Hydrocarbon I Microwarpdrive
Medium Electrochemical Capacitor Booster I, Cap Booster 800
Warp Disruptor II

50W Infectious Power System Malfunction
50W Infectious Power System Malfunction
5W Infectious Power System Malfunction
5W Infectious Power System Malfunction
Improved Cloaking Device II

Core Defence Field Extender I
Core Defence Field Extender I


Hammerhead II x5 [x2]
Warrior II x5 [x2]

As Brick0Joe's Harbinger landed on me, I ordered a long range orbit of 25 Kilometers to minimize his damage while I neuted him.

A few seconds later, I was comfortable orbiting him, taking minimal damage from his lasers while his drones nibbled away at me. I began locking them, only to find out I had a 10 second lock time per drone. Note, drop the cloak, not terribly useful for solo fights.

However, my neuts kept cycling off, as I would continually wander out of their current max range (26 km). In a real fight, I'd have lost point by now, but I'll need to practice staying within certain distances from a moving target, although Recon Ships IV will be done in 2 days, so that should help in gang fights.

As my shields dropped to about 20%, I told Brick that his sole flight of drones were now destroyed, as it would be poor etiquette to actually destroy them in a test fight. By now, my neuts were taking noticeable effect. Brick's lasers had stopped firing, and he had slowed down considerably.

I engaged my MWD and closed into a tight orbit of 500m. I deactivated my 2 medium neuts and began to cycle to two small neuts I'd use to keep him capped out. Suddenly, beams lashed out at my ship, taking a large chunk out of my shields. I immediately reactivated my other two neuts and pushed another 800 charge into the core. This time, I didn't turn off my medium neuts until I was certain he was actually dead in the water.

It wasn't too long before Brick was forced to concede the fight. Although, I've learned a few valuable lessons before I take Antigone's Revenge into a real fight.
1. Drop the cloak, makes it harder to tackle and attack drones.
2. Fit a medium SB, to take/harass out drones.
3. Drope the Overdrive II for a PDU II, the extra grid, cargo for cap charges, shield, cap, and cap recharge are all more usefull than 125m/s.
4. Work on MWD/range micro
5. Guestimate how long each ship class should take to cap out. I put out about -50 cap/sec at range and -32 cap/sec close up, or -82.5 total cap/sec.

Frigates- 1 cycle pretty much
Cruisers- circa 1400 cap = 28 seconds at range, 43 sec close up, 17 sec in omfg mash buttons!
BC's- circa 3000 cap = 60 seconds range, 93 seconds close up, 36 sec in omfgmb!
BS's (probably a bad idea to begin with)- circa 7k cap= 140 sec at range, 218 seconds close up, 84 seconds in omfgmb!

Soon, very soon, Antigone's Revenge will slip out into the dark of space... seeking revenge.

Skills, Gotta Get Them All!

Many people complain about the inherent advantage older players get than newer ones, because there is basically no way for a newer char to get more skill points than an equal char.

Proponents of the current skill system claim (with a good degree of truth) that newer players can become just as proficient as any older player at doing any one thing, but that older players are just proficient at more things.

As I sit here, typing this up, I haven't really played much EvE for the past week or so. This is mainly because I'm waiting for Amarr Cruiser V to finally finish (5 days from now) and let me fly the Curse (Neuting from 30km away? Hell yah)

Currently, there is only one way of 'catching up' with the older players SP wise. That way is by purchasing a character (for a large isk sum) from somebody else made. I don't really like this 'solution', namely because it requires that you literally become an older player. As I sit on 4 billion + isk, I don't really want to buy an Uber PvP char (which probably costs 10b +) because I've invested over a year into Lanissum.

Instead, I'd like to suggest a few alternatives to purchasing an entire new character.
1. Instead of transfering the purchased character, the new character's skills (and assets, etc) are merged with yours, and the new character ceases to exist.

Pros: You get your SP's, they get their ISK, CCP gets more disk space, you don't have to trash your precious main.

Cons: Can't really think of any, although if you change your mind, it's not like you can just resell the char. (Well, you could, but then you'd basically be doing the same thing I'm trying to avoid here)

2. Instead of buying a character, you buy individual skills (pay x isk to finish a currently training skill now). The exchange rate would probably have to make it more expensive than buying a new char (I think that rate is about 200mil ISK/mil SP, so maybe 250m ISK/SP?)

Pros: You get exactly what you want, right now, instant gratification.

Cons: CCP doesn't get their $14 fee (kinda lame, since all they do is a quick database manipulation -_-)

3. Instead of buying a character, you pay to increase your training rate for a certain amount of time (or SP). Similar to the current noob 'x2 training bonus until 1.6 mil SP'

Pros: You get what you want.

Cons: If you just want to finish a skill NOW, too bad. And you better have a plan for all that extra 'bonus training' if you don't want to waste it.


I most prefer #2, although #3 would do in a pinch (namely because it's 'already implemented'). I especially like the idea of being able to actually catch up to older players without becoming one of them.

What do you think?

Well, That Went Well....

Today, we went a wormhole op thought up by the Benevolent Leader, Golden Helmet. It was a dismal failure. We spent half the day scanning down wormholes and finding 0 targets. As we went deeper into U-space we kept bookmarks at all the wormholes.

It was a great plan, until one of the wormholes collapsed, separating 8 or so of us from our direct route home. When we finally did find a wormhole into lowsec, it was 30 jump trek home. And we still didn't get any kills.

I eventually had some fun in Amamake, 3-1 freeforall style, to offset the utterly boring day I had.

All Hail the Benevolent Leader, Golden Helmet.

Massacre

I was shaken from my reverie as my Ishtar suddenly lept into warp towards an asteroid belt. I quickly asked Spectre, our FC, if he had warped us all to 0. I sighed after receiving an affirmative, as my Ishtar's tank was reliant on speed. Reaching down to the comm panel, I warned engineering to hit the MWD as soon as we landed in the belt.

Before long, the shuddering increased again as the Ishtar re-entered normal space. Asteroids were becoming visible on the view screen, and the signatures of enemy ships were resolving. As soon as I landed, my Ogre II's slipped into the depths of space, chasing a Brutix which had been primaried. The Ogre II's went in for the kill, litterally blasting it apart, while I orbited the maelstrom of the fight, secure from danger.

But before my Ogre II's reached a rupture, their next target, an enemy Falcon uncloaked. I immediately siezed the initiative and began streaking towards it. Unfortunately, the Falcon pilot noticed me and ran away. As I was now effectively on the outskirts of the fight, I ignored the primary calling of Spectre.

Instead, I targeted an enemy Stealth Bomber which had uncloaked and begun firing off volleys of torpedoes at my comrades. I locked and pointed it instantly, depriving it of the ability to cloak or run. My Warrior II's danced around the now helpless Nemesis. Just as it entered structure, a volley of torpedoes from Lachesis's Stealth Bomber landed a direct hit, ripping through the flimsly craft.

Instantly, I lached onto yet another Stealth Bomber which had unwisely shown itself during the fight. I laughed at it's pittiful attempts to escape, as my Warrior II's shredded the doomed Manticore.

Suddenly, the silence of space was no longer punctuated by the silent concussion waves of blasters and torpedoes. As soon as it had begun, the fight was over.

The enemy had lost 1 Battlecruiser, 3 Cruisers, 2 Stealth Bombers, and 2 Frigates. We lost nothing.

The fight was not as one sided as it looks, they did have a falcon, but they failed to protect it from my Ishtar, which forced it off grid.

As the fleet was preparing to warp to a SS, our scanners picked up an enemy Abbadon and Stabber Fleet Issue fleeing into Amamake. We briefly considered the danger of bringing our GCC'ed fleet into Amamake, possibly the most dangerous system in EvE (after Rancer), but decided to press the matter.

As my Ishtar phased out of Jump Space, I could already see the projectiles and lasers streaking across the silence of space. I immediately locked the Abaddon and sent my Ogre II's, despite the sentry fire, on it. It was a race against time, the Abaddon was straining, ever so slowly to get within 2.5 Km of the gate, it was less than a kilometer away. Throwing all caution to the wind, I ordered my Ishtar into a tight 500m orbit of the ship, and activated my triple blaster battery. The shuddering was immense, I couldn't tell when my volleys left the Ishtar and when sentry fire hit it.

Just as it seemed like the Abaddon was going to escape from us, Kerblamo's Tempest phased into Real Space and fired a torpedo volley into the stricken Battleship. Suddenly, it's engines died down... the piloting lights flickered out... and it just sat there, for a moment, before the majestic ship imploded on itself.

Checking my sensors, I realized that the Fleet Stabber was still here, on the gate, even though it had had more than enough time to make good it's escape.

It was a mistake we capitalized on.

The Simple Things in Life

Leaving my quarters, I checked the comms channels on my way to the hanger. They were rather quiet tonight... so I would be flying solo. Peering into the depths of my hanger, I saw a small ship that I hadn't flown for a very very long time.... the Taranis Tech II Interceptor Class Frigate.

As I left the docking ramp I punched in a course for Siseide, which would take me through Amamake. I didn't fear getting caught in any gate camps, as I would be almost impossible to point before I warped off.

Soon, I arrived in Siseide.. it was a quiet system tonight, only 4 in local. There was a Hawk, Punisher, and Tristan on scan. It was apparent that the Tristan and Punisher were together, the Hawk was an unknown factor.

I detected the Tristan at a belt, I immediately warped in, only to see the ship warp to yet another belt. The ships computer anticipated my command and threw me into warp. Seconds later, as the tendrils of the warp stream gave up their grasp of my ship, the klaxons blared as both the Punisher and Tristan were within 10 Km of me.

Grinning, I ordered a tight orbit around the Tristan, the more immediate threat. My warp scrambler and stasis web held him down. As soon as the lock resolved, my pair of light drones slipped into the cold of space, seeking their target. The vibrations were so sharp, I didn't notice when my trio of blaster batteries fired, nor when I took a hit.

The Tristan didn't hold out for long, dying horribly as one of my drones flew into, and exploded out the other side of the ship with a good portion of the frigate's innards.

As I turned my attentions to the Punisher, the ships computer notified me of shield failure. Ignoring the alert, I pushed the attack, ordering a speedier, but wider orbit. However, it soon became apparent that we were both taking proportional amounts of damage. Deciding that the situation was untenable, I disengaged my afterburner and orbited even closer to the Punisher. Hoping that the superior firepower of my blasters could surmount his superior tank before my Taranis gave way.

Just as the last of my ship's armor gave way to hull, the Punisher suddenly imploded, atmoshpere, crew, and myriad of other debreis venting into the cold of outer space. I immediately locked the pod and destroyed it, collecting yet another corpse for my already commendable collection.

Noting that only I and the Hawk pilot remained, I vacted Siseide on my return trip home.

High Tech Assault

It seemed like tonight was going to be a boring night, despite the earlier faction fitted armor & shield tanked missioning Hurricane we killed only half an hour ago. As I glanced into my hanger, my eyes briefly looked upon my Lachesis, which had never seen combat. An idea formed in my head. I immediately sent out a call for a Recon Ship roam and before I knew it we had a gang getting ready to leave Gulmorogod.

We quickly scampered through Amamake and into Siseide. There, we found and ganked a lone Stabber and figured out exactly how much punishment a Punisher could take. We tried to scan down another pair of ships, but they were jumping all over the place, so we moved onto Egghelende.

It wasn't long before we scanned down a Brutix and Hurricane. Although, as we began to land on the unfortunate duo, it became apparent that scanning them down had been redundant- they were in an asteroid belt.

However, the Brutix and Hurricane were far apart, nessecitating that our gang split up points and damage between them. My Lachesis kept a point on the Brutix, while Spectre split his between both the Brutix and Hurricane. Felix, in his Rapier, webbed the Hurricane down so it's normally superior speed would not be able to save it.

My Lachesis did have a bit of a difficult time keeping up with the Brutix, although it was slower I almost forgot to turn off my MWD to preserve my capacitor. But before long, both the Brutix and Hurricane were dead.

My (limited) experience with fighting from a long range has been quite interesting, speed/range tanking is really quite a nice change from my typical 'Blasterz n' Dronez' approach to PvP. It's rather empowering to keep your prey at arms reach while you plink them to death, knowing that they can do nothing, NOTHING! to harm you, much less escape.

But as for my Lachesis's fitting, I think I'll drop the cloak, expanded probe launcher, and a sensor booster in exchange for some rails and another 42km point. Namely because I suck at probing, shouldn't be flying this solo, and the cloak is a hinderence when catching pods- especially when being aligned/jumping around works well enough for avoidance. Though, I still insist on keeping a warp scrambler on it... just incase I need to turn off somebody's MWD.

Tomorrow morning, I'll *finally* have Ogre II's to add to my arsenal of ranged weaponry. Although I skilled up for an Ishtar, I left Ogre II's for after that (bad idea) and have therefore done practically 0 PvP with it. But tomorrow, I'll be able to fly a ship that epitomizes ranged warfare, in a gang, the Ishtar can sit back at an insane distance and deal full DPS while only risking it's current flight of drones. But when needed, it can dive into the fight and deal a heck of a lot more damage to quickly finish off it's prey.

Don't get me started on sentry drones, although I've had them for a long time, I only used them for PvE in 0.0 (in my carebear days). Though, I do like the idea of a slight DPS loss for a static emplacement, especially because those drones are so cheap, I can just dump them mid fight if need be.

Yarr, (skill) doors are opening up to new and exciting forms of combat!

Game Time Codes...

My subscription on Lanissum just ran out. Np, I'll just go buy a GTC... browse browse... WTF!?!

780 mil + for a 60day GTC! That is absurd, and I thought 630 mil was bad... So, here's what I intend to do. Starting tonight, and every few hours for a day or two, I'll make a post that's a bit below the 'norm' price.

However, I'm not actually gonna be selling GTCs, so how will I get by? Simply by inserting a 'contact me ingame' clause & when I get convoed tell them I'm sold out. Wait 5-10 min and make a sold out post on the forums. Ta-da, all the other GTC hawks will hopefully lower their prices to remain competitive to my 'ghost' orders.

To recap- if current price is 780 mil, make a post for

Selling 3x 60d GTC for 750M! [ONLINE NOW]

and specify the 'contact ingame' part.

The only problem with this is I can't make a thousand forum posts w/ the same char, so I'll need your help. I've got 3 chars to post with right now, but every one who joins in the effort can bring three themselves.

The more people who pitch in, the better it'll work, we just need to get enough low posts so as to take up most of a forum page.
Lowering GTC prices will benefit everyone, including you.

So, who's with me?

Judgement Day XXI

She is a beautiful ship. As I walk her perimeter, preparing for long trek home today I reminisce on her history with me.

The day I unpacked her almost 2 months ago was just like any other. Little did I know that I'd keep her with me through roams gone wrong, gate camps, and innumerable ganks.

Her kills include:
1 Assault Frigate
3 Battle Cruisers
4 Battle Ships
5 Capsules
1 Industrial
3 Frigates
1 Cruiser
1 HAC
1 Command Ship
1 Retriever

21 Kills total. Her insurance runs out next month, I've never done that with any of my active PvP ships.

Too bad she'll die someday.

Comrades, Onwards to Victory!

Comrades, today we celebrate the Glorious Victory of our most recent 5 Day Plan!
After the call went out for extra resources to the People, the workers united and provided all that they could!

Today, we have reached our 5 Day Plan 1st Tier Success Goal of:
000,000,000,000.00 ISK!
You should be proud of your collective selves, comrades!
The Politburo, in the spirit of continuing past successes appealed to the unwashed capitalistic masses as well!

And it too was a Glorious Victory for the United Peoples' Republic of AssCrapistan!
Let us take a moment to Recognize the most Benevolent Capitalists, even though they didn't know that they were actually donating to Our Good Cause (What capitalists donate to anything?).

1st Place goes to : EggMand for his 'donation' of ......900,000,000 ISK
2nd Place goes to: Cinanek for his 'donation' of ......300,000,000 ISK
3rd Place goes to: Morak Thun for his 'donation' of 250,000,000 ISK


To further commemorate this Great Victory, the PolitBuro also notes that the Capitalist doners all stepped up to the challenge of maximal donation in the span of no more than 11 Minutes between Morak's and EggMand's donations. For those mathamatically inclined, the Peoples' Republic made over 1 Billion ISK, or 110 Million ISK each minute for 11 Minutes!

Onwards to Victory, Comrades, for tomorrow our latest 5 year plan Begins!

Donate to a Good Cause (TM)

As some of you may or may not know, I have an alt who is about 10 days away from getting to fly a carrier. So, lets take a look at all the isk required to fly a carrier:
Thanatos x1 --- 700,000,000 ISK
Capital Ships -- 350,000,000 ISK
Gall Carrier --- 450,000,000 ISK
Assorted Mods-500,000,000 ISK

That comes to about 1.9 Bil ISK.

Although I do get decent sums of ISK by scamming, I have to pay for 2 separate accounts with ISK which comes to about 1.2 Bil isk / 2 months. I've recently paid my bills, and am rather low on ISK right now.

So, I'm basically asking you, my loyal readers to donate whatever you can spare/feel like to pay for my alt's first carrier. Believe me, I could use it.

Beware of the Ban Hammer!

Lanissum is 1 year and 1 day old today. I fondly remember my earlier days of naivety...
My first lost ship was a Thorax, after I emptied a can outside a Dodixie station. Such days are long gong... Today, I fly HAC's, and my much vaunted Vexor of do0m with a confirmed 19 kills to it's name.

During a recent scam-a-thon, I ran into a particularly funny character.
The chat log, edited for brevity, can be found below.

Bold are particularly interesting parts, Italics are parts where a 'CCP' Employee is talking.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Channel ID: 2143487849
Channel Name: Private Chat (Captain Trautman)
Listener: ME
Session started: 2009.05.15 02:00:46
---------------------------------------------------------------
...
[Steal 100m or so]
...
[The threats begin]
[ 2009.05.15 02:30:39 ] Captain Trautman > no only 1 contract: 90 millions in exchange of vexor navy issue
[ 2009.05.15 02:30:56 ] Captain Trautman > otherwise i'll have to report you to CCp
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:02 ] ME > k, i give u 90m u give me vexor
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:07 ] Captain Trautman > yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:08 ] ME > please, don't do that
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:12 ] ME > [kk, one sec]
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:31 ] Captain Trautman > it's up to you buddy, a mega costs 80, i'm paying it to you 90
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:45 ] Captain Trautman > 90 is fare u made 10 millions in 10 minutes u should enought satisfied
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:45 ] ME > eh, I sent you the contract
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:54 ] ME > i pay you 90m, you give me vex, and don't tell ccp
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:57 ] ME > deal?
[ 2009.05.15 02:32:16 ] Captain Trautman > exactely
[ 2009.05.15 02:32:18 ] ME > kk
[ 2009.05.15 02:32:22 ] ME > sent the contract
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:05 ] Captain Trautman > did not get it yet
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:09 ] ME > sure?
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:15 ] ME > i'll link it
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:41 ] ME > [Want to Trade]
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:50 ] ME > there it is
[ 2009.05.15 02:34:14 ] ME > just remember, don't tell CCP, or they'll ban me
[ 2009.05.15 02:34:39 ] Captain Trautman > Cristal actually you are getting me impatience
[ 2009.05.15 02:34:46 ] Captain Trautman > the contract you are giving me is fake
[ 2009.05.15 02:34:51 ] ME > its real enough
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:04 ] Captain Trautman > it says i pay u 90 millions plus a vexor
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:08 ] ME > woops
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:12 ]ME > u gonna report me?
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:25 ] Captain Trautman > i will report yuo right away if i dont cash 90 millions right now
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:47 ] ME > you're not gonna get ANYTHING out of me, BAN OR OTHERWISE
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:53 ] Captain Trautman > u got the wrong guy coz' 2 days ago i had a job interview with CCP
[ 2009.05.15 02:36:05 ] ME > do your worste
[ 2009.05.15 02:36:45 ] ME > how long do i have before u get me banned?
[ 2009.05.15 02:37:07 ] Captain Trautman > thnx for all ur kind words, this is evidence for CCP.
[ 2009.05.15 02:37:19 ] ME > evidence?
[ 2009.05.15 02:37:22 ] Captain Trautman > We can have a deal buddy and both of us could leave safely and smoothly
[ 2009.05.15 02:37:41 ] ME > I don't deal with people, I'm alergic to homo sapiens
[ 2009.05.15 02:38:34 ] ME > that it?
[ 2009.05.15 02:38:54 ] Captain Trautman > i'm asking to you one more time, you pay me back 90 millions, i give you the vexor back or you give me 180 millions back and i give yuo both ships and we are fine
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:03 ] Captain Trautman > this would be like it never happened
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:32 ] ME > If I stand for nothing, i will fall for anything
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:41 ] ME > all that evil needs to succeed is for good men to do nothing
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:44 ] Captain Trautman > or, we are square and yuo enjoy your last time in eve with this your current account
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:56 ] ME > square?
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:59 ] Captain Trautman > read the rules before connign people
[ 2009.05.15 02:40:18 ] ME > rules? what rules?
[ 2009.05.15 02:40:34 ] Captain Trautman > all the transactions, all the chats could be evidences in case of problems.
[ 2009.05.15 02:40:42 ] ME > there are problems, alright
[ 2009.05.15 02:41:03 ] ME > i'm bored
[ 2009.05.15 02:42:10 ] Captain Trautman > eheh one more time, you pay me back for one or 2 ships i give you back one or 2 ships
[ 2009.05.15 02:42:25 ] ME > or, I just close this convo, and rofl
[ 2009.05.15 02:42:55 ] Captain Trautman > and you'd risk your account to be banned?
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:06 ] Captain Trautman > it's up to you buddy
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:11 ] ME > hm
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:25 ] ME > will you settle for just buying a real navy vexor from me?
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:28 ] ME > for 50m?
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:45 ] Captain Trautman > no
[ 2009.05.15 02:45:51 ] Captain Trautman > Cristal, I've a CCP liason online on another chat
[ 2009.05.15 02:46:07 ] Captain Trautman > it's up to you now
[ 2009.05.15 02:46:55 ] ME > invite him here
[ 2009.05.15 02:47:59 ] Captain Trautman > k
[ 2009.05.15 02:48:37 ] Captain Trautman > he has just reviewed what u wrote me, and when u admitted u sold me renamed ships he said it's enought for ban you
[ 2009.05.15 02:49:34 ] ME > right
[ 2009.05.15 02:49:39 ] ME > invite him here plz
[ 2009.05.15 02:50:32 ] Icer Xx > hello
[ 2009.05.15 02:50:43 ] ME > hey
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:16 ] Icer Xx > Cristal
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:24 ] ME > Yes?
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:31 ] Icer Xx > Did you sell Captain Trautman fake ships?
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:36 ] ME > yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:50 ] Icer Xx > That violates the EULA
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:59 ] ME > It does?
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:05 ] Icer Xx > yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:10 ] ME > ok
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:14 ] ME > ban me then, plz
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:28 ] Icer Xx > I do not Wish to ban you
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:49 ] ME > You're from CCP, right?
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:00 ] Icer Xx > i believe that was evident
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:08 ] ME > well, are you?
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:29 ] Icer Xx > yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:38 ] ME > right, so enforce the EULA and ban me then
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:54 ] ME > why am i still here?
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:54 ] Icer Xx > in 24 to 48 hours you will no longer be able to log on
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:57 ] Icer Xx > goodbye
[ 2009.05.15 02:54:05 ] ME > NOOO
[ 2009.05.15 02:55:47 ] ME > if he'll come back, and forgive me, i'll give u back all your stuff man
[ 2009.05.15 02:56:59 ] ME > ?
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:03 ] ME > oh
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:13 ] Icer Xx > It is my understanding you just paid Captain back?
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:15 ] ME > thank you, for giving me one last opportunity to right what I have wronged
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:20 ] ME > yes, yes, yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:35 ] Icer Xx > Thank you ME
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:49 ] ME > captain is awefully quiet
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:55 ] Captain Trautman > i'm here
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:00 ] Captain Trautman > reading
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:07 ] ME > are you alts?
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:08 ] Icer Xx > He doesn't talk very much it seems.
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:19 ] Captain Trautman > i had enought for tonite
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:23 ] Icer Xx > I am an alt, but which character of i may not divulge.
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:32 ] ME > kk
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:32 ] Icer Xx > since the t20 incident
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:38 ] ME > glad you got your isk back, captain
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:44 ] Captain Trautman > as cristal pays i no longer have any interest in proceeding against him
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:50 ] ME > thank you
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:51 ] ME > so much
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:57 ] Captain Trautman > not yet Cristal
[ 2009.05.15 02:59:07 ] ME > but i already paid!
[ 2009.05.15 02:59:27 ] Icer Xx > There you have it Cristal, Captain has no reason to proceed in the termination of your account.
[ 2009.05.15 02:59:54 ] ME > thank you for your mercy, oh highest one
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:04 ] Icer Xx > Thank you for your time and effort in making EVE Online a great online game.
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:12 ] ME > haha
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:15 ] ME > still got ur isks
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:40 ] Captain Trautman > have a great night and sleep tight
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:48 ] ME > u even checked ur wallet?
[ 2009.05.15 03:01:43 ] Captain Trautman > yuo did not pay me anything, i'm dropping this convo and proceed with the report
[ 2009.05.15 03:01:49 ] ME > :(

Lose Some, Win MOAR!

It seemed like a good idea, to tackle the aggressed battle ship on a gate. Or, it did until my capacitor suddenly spilt out into open space, until the Warrior II's slid into the silent void, searching for me, until my Taranis imploded 100m away from being within range of the gate.

I was safe from those two huge, lumbering minmatar Battlecruisers. Even if they could hit me, I'd just dock. Oh, they've started to stick a bunch of drones on me. Simple, I'll just dock up; MWD'ing into range... In range! Why don't they hail my docking request? Suddenly, my Ishkur disintigrates beneath my feat, as I warp away in the pod, I take a look at the station so I can have the station controllers fired. That will prove to be a difficult endevor, seeing as it was actually an abandoned station. -_-.

Quote from the Cartel forums:
Topic: I'm stupid because...

Lanissum: I'm an idiot b/c I've tried to dock at abandoned stations...
Blammo: I'm an idiot because i followed you

Attacking the dueling Battleships seemed like a good idea, until they stopped dueling, and a bunch of reds blobbed me and the unfortunate few who followed me to our collective doom.

Pirating can, at times, be a discouraging profession. This is especially true when one loses something to the tune of 140m ISK in the span of 7 days. Although my wallet doesn't feel it, I like to lose ships as much as the next guy.

On the other hand, such defeatist thoughts quickly leave one's mind when they are agressed by a Raven on a gate. Finding that he did little damage to me, I opted to return fire, and settled into my optimal orbit. Screaming in comms on my catch. As the Raven and I dueled, neither deagressing and jumping, my corpmates ganked a comorant who was foolish enough to aggro them. In the meantime, my speed tanked Vexor was in armor, but so was the Raven. As it entered hull, the Raven, although flown by a two year old capsuleer, split asunder into space.

However, my corpmates had done a minute amount of damage, at the end thus robbing me, and my KB central mind, of a sweet solo kill. After I expressed my ire at certain, un-named corpmates, Kazaji stated:

"Yeah, yeah, sorry about stealing your 'solo' kill. Shouldnt have screamed "Raven autopiloting to Dantumi come!" "Hes engaged me COME!" Ect. :P Good fight though."

The other day, I noticed a noob in system, being the pirate I am, I socially engineered him into a belt with me for 'isk opportunities'. However, our mutual seminar was interrupted before it began, by a Tristan which soon payed the price for interrupting my class in the ways of EvE (Everyone vs Everyone). Then, another Tristan warped in and met a similar fate to my Ishkur's flurry of drones and blasters. Then, I finally got around to the silly little Ibis, who thought I was putting on a show for him or something.

Later, during one of the few roams where I was FC, we probed down a Brutix and Caracal missioning together. As Andrea Skye warped onto the mission gate, and got a point, the rest of us arrived and finished him and his pod, while I ordered Skye enter the mission to get a tackle on the Brutix within before it could escape, after hearing the pleas of it's friend. That done, the Brutix soon fell to our combined onslaught.

On another note, the Cartel has picked up a few new members. One of which is yourownguns. He's only been with us for a few days now, but he's already racked up 30+ kills, using just Incursii and the Thorax. Even an Incursus vs Claw kill too, Python is all the better off for getting new members of this calibre.

Speaking of calibre, I shall be flying my first HAC, a Deimos, in 2 days time. Although some call it the 'Die-most', I would certainly like to see how HAC's perform. Especially since I love assault frigates, in a manner similar to Spectre's love of the Taranis. Obviously, flying them in a gang would be dumb, as they'd just get primaried and destroyed. But for solo work... a Deimos would certainly be a fearsome ship. At any rate, HAC's would at least cost something, as opposed to the pocket change of insurable T1 ships and T2 frigs.

Shiny Toys!

In 12 days, I will have been a capsuleer for 1 year. In 12 days, I will be able to fly HAC's [Just a coincidence]. In the mean time, I've learned how to fly several t2 frigates, including interceptors, stealth bombers, covert ops, and assault ships.

I thought stealth bombers were OK, but they're definitely a gang ship, especially now that they use torps. I still need to do about 500k of missile skilling before I'm willing to actually use them in combat.

Covert ops, kinda cool, but I'm not that great at probing. Next...

Assault ships. God, I love my assault ships, once I get in under the target's guns, the only thing that can hurt me are their drones. Once those are down, it's just a matter of keeping up my transversal with an AB.

The Enyo is currently my ship of choice, it can put out the hurt, and maintain a good tank to boot. Especially since it's so difficult for larger ships to hurt me. The only problem with said Enyo is that it has only 2! Midslots. So, I'm basically limited to a warp scrambler and AB II.

Then there's the Ishkur. It can dish out 200DPS, with a decent tank, and has the flexibility of 3 midslots. It makes an excellent ship, it can maintain a good 2 KM/S speed, and it's drones can catch up to almost anything.

Then there are the interceptors. I've never had great luck with them. My first one died in a fiery explosion whilst going in for the tackle. My latest one was murdered by an Ishkur before I could get out of warp scrambling range.

I recently tried to give them another go, at the behest of my fellow pirate, Spectre3353, who is very good with them. With something like 270 kills for 30 losses, using a taranis, "you just can't argue with results" and I would tend to agree with such logic.

But I don't feel comfortable with such a paper thin hull beneath my feet. The taranis has an insanely small sig radius, as do my assault ships, and has a very good pointing ability. Against larger ships, like cruisers, both the taranis and AF's are on fairly equal terms.

But I think the problem is with smaller ships, once the interceptor's MWD is down, it's a sitting duck, waiting for the drone swarm to finish it off. And it just can't outlast an AF, like the Ishkur in toe to toe combat. [The Ares is probably more survivable, imo] .

It just seems to me that flying into warp scram range with an interceptor is just a Bad Idea. But it's obviously not the ship's fault, just mine.

If you fly the Taranis [especially the blasteranis], what do you do to get those kills? And I'm not talking about big ships, which are easy to avoid/kill. I'm talking about that Ishkur which ambushed me, took out my MWD and shredded me with drones.

Against the Odds

As the last tendrils of the warp stream slipped away from the hull of my Vexor, sensors registered a fleet of 5 frigates. Further examination revealed that it was composed of an Incursus, Punisher, Merlin, and two Inquisitors.

Moments later, they all entered the stargate into Dantumi. I immediately gave chase, they proceeded onto Mara, where we played a game of cat and mouse in the asteroid belts. Then they went to Passari. As my frustration at not being able to get a point on one of them mounted, I goaded some of them in private channels. That failed too.

We were playing cat in mouse in Passari, with a great multitude of reds in local. Time and again, I warped into a belt to only see them warp away at 100k.

But then I noticed a pattern in their movements and warped in right on top of them.

Alarms blared as the enemy fleet materialized all around me, too close for comfort with my speed tank... but a pirate never runs!

I immediately began resolving locks, and let my drones go out to play. But the enemy were already warping away. I counted the seconds for the locks to resolve, slowly ticking by as one target at a time warped away.

Lock resolved. Point acquired.

I sent my drones to the now solo Merlin frigate. In short order, it died in a fiery explosion.

But then his buddies began to arrive in force, they were all too close to me, there was no way for my cruiser to outrun the nimble frigates. I began to resolve locks once again and threw out my drones at the first targets.

My untanked armor was already beginning to crumple, I could feel the shuddering of my ship beneath my feet. The Hobgoblin II's reached an Inquisitor, whose shields were obliterated.. but his armor took a bit longer before finally giving out and imploding.

Now, some of the native rats were shooting at me too, my hull was taking direct damage. Ironcially, my hull was also the best tanked part of the Vexor, thanks to a DCU II.

The Hobgoblin II's reached the enemy Incursus which, under their unwelcome attentions, quickly yielded to open space.

My hull was almost critical now, there remained only the enemy punisher. The Hobgoblin II's finally reached it, but it seemed to be a particularly hard nut to crack. The drones fired salvo after salvo at the little ship, while mine was already disintigrating beneath me.

Suddenly, the Punisher imploded in a fiery explosion. This last enemy pod was able to escape, the others left while I was too busy killing their allies. At any rate, my structural integrity was only 48%, there was little point in staying around risking another fight.

As I initiated docking procedures, I announced a new name for the now battle scarred Vexor, which was still venting atmosphere into space. Previously, it had been named 'II' for it's prior two kills in battle. Now, it would henceforth be known as 'VI' for it's kills.

Turning the Tables

Captain's Log- Lanissum
--------------Session started: 5632.04.20 22:01:14-----------

It had been a slow day that day. Frustrated after gaining no kills, fights, or even losses, I proceeded to dock my ship. Of course, I did one last scan for a new pilot in a big ship.

As I proceeded back to his quarters, he kept on thinking about newer pilots and big ships. When a ship is picked up on a scanner, it returns it's transponder identification signal. By default, this signal consists of the pilot's name and ship type.

Suddenly, I realized the seemingly obvious idea that the name of the pilot on the transponder signal didn't have to be the pilot flying the ship.

As I made my way back to the dock, I opened my com and instructed my crew chief to pick a suitable name from the local chatter for my Myrmidon Battlecruiser. Moments later, I was sitting in an obvious belt 'ratting'.

Within a minute of landing at the belt, a Thorax warped in; followed by a Hound stealth bomber. They were both experienced pilots, the Hound was out of my engagement range. But I decided to engage the Thorax anyways.

As soon as a lock was resolved, my blasters spun up, drones went out, and the enemy ship's warp core was disrupted.

But they engaged me even before my locks were resolved. I could feel my ship shudder as the first salvo of warheads hit the Myrmidon. The shields were going down faster than I'd hoped, I engaged my armor tank, in preparation for the incoming damage.

The Thorax and my Myrmidon seemed about tied for damage, our respective ships taking the same amount of damage. But then the Thorax began to gain vast quantities of distance on me. He was MWDing away from me. Belatedly, I realized that I'd pointed him with the warp disruptor and not the scrambler that I also carried. Now, he was out of range of most of my damage, save for my drones. But still able to keep me in place while the SB fired salvo after salvo upon me.

The torpedoes took to take large chunks of my armor. I engaged overheating upon my tank, in an attempt to prolong the seemly inevitable demise of the Myrmidon.

As quickly as the Thorax gained range, it came back, apparently to get in on the kill. That was the last mistake for him. I immediately spun up and overheated my blasters, knowing that it was kill or be killed.

His armor took a critical hit, the Thorax began to loose large chunks of it's hull. I began to align for an attempt to warp out. Another salvo of torpedoes, and both of our hulls were well below 50%.

But my blasters managed to score a hit upon the now MWDless Thorax, resulting in a fiery explosion.

Another salvo of torpedoes quickly knocked me out of my triumph. I wasn't out of the woods yet, my Myrmidon had been knocked out of alignment by the battle. I began the warp out procedure. It was a race between the next salvo and the warp procedure.

Torpedoes incoming...
15% thrust.... 25% thrust...50% thrust...
I could literally see the visual radiation from the torpedoes' propulsion systems.
Warping to Mercantile Bureau Station.

The crew cheered, they had survived the battle.
I relaxed and shuddered as I took another look at the ship readout:
16% hull integrity had remained after the battle, the armor was already on it's way to full strength again. Almost every lower module was offlined by the damage sustained during the fight, but overheating had definitely won the day today. I therefore ordered every man in the splended engineering department of my ship a few free rounds at their favorite station-side establishment.

Low Sec Shananigans

The kid was walking home from school again, when he saw Lanissum walk out into the docking bay. Watching the holo-screen, it was clear that the pirate was getting ready for a flight. Remembering how often he had seen Lanissum recording the affairs of his work on a PDA, a plan began to form in the kid's mind.

Many people regarded the crypto-pads which guarded the captains' quarters to be impervious. Strictly speaking, the were right, but that was their weakness. Earlier, the boy had easily gleaned the pad's combination by watching Lanissum enter and exit. Now that the pirate was gone for the day, the boy easily entered the room and found the PDA. As soon as it booted up, he opened the earlier log entries.

"After losing my Thorax earlier, I decided to go out today with an Incursus of mine. Intel channels indicated low activity in the systems surrounding Aurohunen, thus my best chances of finding a fight would be in this system.

Thus, I began my normal routine of scanning out belts, but failed to find anything. Fearing a boring night, I warped to a station, where I sighted two frigates."

The PDA prompted the boy to place his thumb on a glowing button to access a "visual net recording." Doing so, he suddenly saw and felt everything that Lanissum had on that day.

"The ship shuddered, sensors indicated that the Kestral was already attacking. Checking the ships' transponders, it was apparent that they were in the same corporation and thus docking would be the wiser choice.

The shuddered again, under a particularly violent missile strike. Where was the enemy Rifter? There was a large amount of static from the explosion... the Rifter had docked!

Now was the time to strike! Yet again, the Incursus shuddered, but this time it was recoil from outgoing blaster fire. The Kestral lost a large portion of it's shields. At the same time, the lone Hobgoblin II drone of the Incursus slipped into the darkness of space and began to hunt it's target.

The Kestral launched another missile salvo, penetrating the shields and nicking a bit of the armored hull. A blaster salvo missed the Kestral, checking the sensors again... my transversal is too high. Opening navigation... Ordering a direct approach at full speed.. the Incursus shudders as the afterburner kicks in again.

Suddenly, the Kestral explodes, inundating the sensor's with static. At the same time, the Rifter undocks, in a belated attempt to aid it's fallen comrade. Unheeding, the Rifter streaks towards me. As the Rifter gains CONCORD aggression, the Hobgoblin and blasters return fire.

The two ships enter a lethal dance, each attempting to maintain their optimal range and transversal. The Rifter enters armor, as does the Incursus. Suddenly, the Rifter scores a critical hit, stripping all the armor off of the Incursus.

Again, Lanissum orders a direct approach at full speed. In a race of who can do the most damage blasters will win if they can get close enough. Holes begin to appear in the Rifter's armor. Checking sensors again, the Rifter is actually losing huge amounts of hull integrity... but so is the Incursus.

As the Incursus reaches 35% integrity left, the Rifter explodes in a fiery display..."

Glistening with sweat, the kid eagerly searched the logs for more, he opened a more recent one...

"Myself, Kaz, and Lachesis set out for a roam in a Brutix, Rifter, and Thorax respectively. I had purchased this triple rigged Brutix from a corpie in need, as I don't normally like to rig ships.

As our home systems were devoid of activity, we set out deep into the battlefield of Black Rise. Our target system was well known for it's carebearish inhabitants. Anytime an outlaw entered the system, the entire corporation which inhabited it would dock up.

As usual, they followed this time honored tradition when my gang entered the system. We almost got a Raven in a belt, but were unable to get it this time. After ascertaining that everyone except ourselves was docked up, we decided to hit back at these carebears. We started to rat, in 'their' system.

The three of us were trying to pilot our ships through fits of laughter at the irony of carebears docked up while us pirates ratted. Eventually, a few others entered local. We managed to get a point on a Drake in a belt. We figured that it wasn't bait, since it was in a separate corporation.

We figured that, until our long range scanners began to light up. I immediately gave the order for my gang to warp out. I began the procedure myself, until I realized that the Drake had me pointed too. Realizing that there was no way we could destroy the well tanked Drake in the time allotted to me by fate, I ensured the survival of my pod.

To it's credit, it took the enormous enemy fleet some time to destroy the triple rigged Brutix."

The Boy checked his watch, and was alarmed at how long he had stayed there. Turning off the PDA, he turned towards the door, only to run into Lanissum.

And (Green) Blood Shalt Be Spilt by the Heathen!

The wary man in a trench coat nervously tapped away at the terminal's keyboard. Suddenly, the man gave off the briefest of smiles before walking away, unawares that he was being watched. The intelligence officer approached the terminal, and inserted his cybernetic interface. In the blink of an eye, he saw with horror the scope of the crime's committed by the mysterious stranger.
A conversation recording came to him, between the stranger and a victim. Oddly, it appeared that the scammer's name had been censored, as well as select portions of the transcript.
Channel ID: 2141666520
[ 2009.03.25 00:23:10 ] ME > back
[ 2009.03.25 00:23:22 ] ME > You still want one?
[ 2009.03.25 00:23:34 ] Count Requiem > yea
[ 2009.03.25 00:23:46 ] ME > Righto, I'll throw 1 in when you're ready
[ 2009.03.25 00:24:05 ] ME > Rdy
[ 2009.03.25 00:24:36 ] Count Requiem > its unrigged right ?
[ 2009.03.25 00:24:41 ] ME > Yeah
[ 2009.03.25 00:24:48 ] ME > No mods or cargo either
[ 2009.03.25 00:24:53 ] Count Requiem > kay
[ 2009.03.25 00:25:03 ] ME > Though if it was rigged, it'd be boon for you lol
[ 2009.03.25 00:25:08 ] Count Requiem > yea ahah
[ 2009.03.25 00:25:18 ] Count Requiem > thanks anyway
[ 2009.03.25 00:25:20 ] ME > Righto, I've got 4 left; sure you don't want em? I'll even sell them for 50m each
[ 2009.03.25 00:25:57 ] Count Requiem > well i'd maybe take one other if you make it a 40mil :PP so that would end up 2 for 50m
[ 2009.03.25 00:26:06 ] Count Requiem > up to you
[ 2009.03.25 00:26:10 ] ME > hmm
[ 2009.03.25 00:26:26 ] ME > so, you want 1 for 40m; or 2 for 50m (each or total?)
[ 2009.03.25 00:26:35 ] Count Requiem > just one 40m
[ 2009.03.25 00:26:42 ] ME > kk, I can live with that
[ 2009.03.25 00:26:54 ] Count Requiem > after that id be out of my money limit pool
[ 2009.03.25 00:27:03 ] ME > gotcha
[ 2009.03.25 00:27:22 ] ME > by two for 50m, you were including the prior purchase
[ 2009.03.25 00:27:27 ] Count Requiem > yea
[ 2009.03.25 00:27:30 ] ME > Which is 100m for 2 :)
[ 2009.03.25 00:27:34 ] ME > Rdy, btw
[ 2009.03.25 00:27:37 ] Count Requiem > yea
[ 2009.03.25 00:27:43 ] Count Requiem > maths and time
[ 2009.03.25 00:27:45 ] Count Requiem > not my stuff
[ 2009.03.25 00:27:45 ] Count Requiem > ahah
[ 2009.03.25 00:27:48 ] ME > same same
[ 2009.03.25 00:28:00 ] Count Requiem > well ty

However, the victim soon realized their mistake, and began a litany of pleas for mercy...

[ 2009.03.25 00:33:32 ] Count Requiem > come on, cant you take them back ?
[ 2009.03.25 00:33:44 ] Count Requiem > im new to this game, started a few weeks ago
[ 2009.03.25 00:33:44 ] ME > mm, how much isk have you got left?
[ 2009.03.25 00:33:46 ] Count Requiem > and really
[ 2009.03.25 00:33:51 ] Count Requiem > im out of isk now
[ 2009.03.25 00:34:00 ] Count Requiem > please :(
...
[ 2009.03.25 00:38:35 ] Count Requiem > well, ok im willing to believe you are a fine person
[ 2009.03.25 00:39:36 ] Count Requiem > please id be eternally gratefull if you didnt ruin my game experience
[ 2009.03.25 00:39:38 ] ME > Tyvm
[ 2009.03.25 00:39:52 ] Count Requiem > I mean its alright to scam rich people
[ 2009.03.25 00:39:55 ] Count Requiem > but noobs like me
[ 2009.03.25 00:39:56 ] Count Requiem > meh
[ 2009.03.25 00:40:01 ] ME > You got that right
[ 2009.03.25 00:40:05 ] Count Requiem > you can look my history
...
Channel ID: 2141667737

[ 2009.03.25 00:41:35 ] ME > Yes?
[ 2009.03.25 00:41:43 ] Count Requiem > so, when can i have them back ?
[ 2009.03.25 00:41:51 ] ME > Um, nevar?
[ 2009.03.25 00:41:55 ] Count Requiem > come one
[ 2009.03.25 00:41:58 ] Count Requiem > please
[ 2009.03.25 00:42:00 ] Count Requiem > im begging you
[ 2009.03.25 00:42:09 ] ME > You're begging?
[ 2009.03.25 00:42:16 ] Count Requiem > yes
[ 2009.03.25 00:42:17 ] Count Requiem > really
[ 2009.03.25 00:42:28 ] ME > Sorry, no can do
[ 2009.03.25 00:42:37 ] Count Requiem > ...
[ 2009.03.25 00:42:44 ] Count Requiem > why have you yo be so mean to me
[ 2009.03.25 00:42:53 ] ME > Good question
[ 2009.03.25 00:43:02 ] Count Requiem > i need my money
[ 2009.03.25 00:43:05 ] ME > So do I
[ 2009.03.25 00:43:16 ] Count Requiem > don't you have even one little bit of compassion ?
[ 2009.03.25 00:43:33 ] ME > Already spent it on my dog, sorry
[ 2009.03.25 00:43:59 ] Count Requiem > i mean
[ 2009.03.25 00:44:13 ] Count Requiem > if youd give me it back id even be earger to give you it more afterwards
[ 2009.03.25 00:44:17 ] Count Requiem > its just i need it to trade
[ 2009.03.25 00:44:19 ] Count Requiem > and make money
[ 2009.03.25 00:44:24 ] Count Requiem > or i have no base to play at all
...
Channel ID: 2141667901
[ 2009.03.25 00:47:14 ] Count Requiem > id send you real money for 100mil
[ 2009.03.25 00:48:09 ] ME > Sorry, I don't do that
[ 2009.03.25 00:49:04 ] Count Requiem > well what can i do so ?
[ 2009.03.25 00:49:09 ] Count Requiem > i got nothing left now
[ 2009.03.25 00:49:11 ] ME > Go away... and cry?
[ 2009.03.25 00:49:31 ] Count Requiem > why won't you make a good deed today ?
[ 2009.03.25 00:49:32 ] Count Requiem > just for once
[ 2009.03.25 00:49:36 ] Count Requiem > even if you don't know me
[ 2009.03.25 00:50:01 ] ME > Already spent it on my food
[ 2009.03.25 00:50:07 ] ME > wait.. that would be me, eating the food :)
...
Looking into further transcripts, some scams took 4 minutes. Greedy victims borrowed cash from their corporations so they could get in on what they thought was a great deal.

Then, he discovered a fairly disturbing conversation.
Channel ID: 2141671158
[ 2009.03.25 02:32:49 ] ME > Would you like any?
[ 2009.03.25 02:33:36 ] Alastier > what do they do? can't find 'em on the market
[ 2009.03.25 02:33:45 ] ME > One sec, brb
[ 2009.03.25 02:36:03 ] ME > Back
[ 2009.03.25 02:36:17 ] ME > They're not market items, contract only; cost about 90ish mil
[ 2009.03.25 02:36:23 ] ME > [normally]
[ 2009.03.25 02:36:44 ] Alastier > and what exactly are they good for?
[ 2009.03.25 02:37:02 ] ME > Missioning/ PvP; they're much better than the normal THING
[ 2009.03.25 02:37:40 ] ME > Do you even have 60mil?
[ 2009.03.25 02:38:18 ] Alastier > I'm around 1,170 mil
[ 2009.03.25 02:38:59 ] ME > as in 1.170 BIL?
[ 2009.03.25 02:39:09 ] Alastier > yeah
[ 2009.03.25 02:39:19 ] ME > 14 day old with a billion isk?
[ 2009.03.25 02:39:47 ] Alastier > sold some time codes for 600 mil each
[ 2009.03.25 02:40:00 ] Alastier > I've played before, just felt like starting a new toon
[ 2009.03.25 02:40:18 ] ME > I see, anyhow; suffice it to say [kk] that I'm selling THING's for a low price due to time pressures
...
The attacker moved in for the kill, netting 345 Million isk from that naive capsuleer, the only thing that stopped him getting more was a lack of 'stock'.
Digging further into the system, he found that some of the victims tried to threaten the scammer.
...
Mail: No Subject
From: Jin Adam
To: XXXXXXXXX
2009.03.25 04:35
you can either return my money or i will put a bounty on your head!!!! lol

2009.03.25 14:37
oh yes and my warning runs out at 2200hrs GMT today 28 March
...
The intelligence officer was flabbergasted at the stupidity, naivety, and their propensity for meaningless threats and abuse. Then he found a transaction log, hidden at the end of a conversation transcript:
**BEGIN TRANSACTION DATA, ISK IN MILLIONS**
345 ------ Alastier (Loaded Newb, 17 Minutes)
267 ------ Fitius Pandemon (Rigged Myrmidon & Megathron, sent ships before even seeing the goods)
120 ........... Duygu Lyn (6 Minutes)
120 ------- Arubak (6 Minutes)
110 ............ Black Sabbath (4 Minutes)
100 ------ Count Requiem (Beggar, 23 Minutes)
60 .............. Gareth Mythros (3 Minutes 30 Seconds)
60 -------- Garrik Doran (2 Minutes)
60 .............. Jin Adam (Empty Hatemail, 11 Minutes)
60 -------- Aetec Raa (9 Minutes)
50 .............. LT Reed (4 Minutes)
50 -------- Crazy4Swazye (10 Minutes)
30 .............. Dessich (7 Minutes)
28 -------- chemi (Fastest, 3 Minutes)
1,460,000,000 ISK -------- TOTAL HAUL in 4 Hours 30 Minutes
**END TRANSACTION DATA**

Realizing that he had enough to put the scammer away for a long, long time, the intelligence officer reached for his com device. Turning away from the terminal, the last thing he ever saw was the barrel of a blaster.

Roaming and Idiot Removal Operations

Thrashing in his sleep, Lanissum kicked over the nightstand. The resulting crash rudely woke him up from his dreams. Dripping in cold sweat, he bent down to clean up the mess. Picking up his PDA, he developed an inexplicable urge to describe the recent events that kept intruding upon his sleep. Letting out a sigh, Lanissum activated the PDA...

"I was engaged by a Drake at a belt, only moments before I had been hunting a different target in my Thorax. Unfortunately, the Drake had been hunting the same vessel, but had deemed me to be a suitable target.

I could literally feel the hull disintegrating beneath my ship, I had forgone armor in lieu of offensive weaponry. Recalling how I had escaped from an unfavorable engagement with a drake months ago, I threw out my ECM drones.

Suddenly, silence ensued. I gave the order for the drones to return, but before they did, my ship was again being pounded. The situation was now critical, I threw out the drones a second time, they quickly jammed the Drake. This time, I opted to leave them, as I doubted that my Thorax could survive any more damage. As I hurtled through space, we exchanged pleasantries."

Lanissum paused briefly, as he listened to a sound outside in the hallway, before resuming his monologue.

"There was a call for a corp op down into the war zone of Black Rise, Tama. It was recommended that we bring small ships, but I opted for a Myrmidon. We sniffed around the systems that we traveled through, but didn't make any kills until we reached Reitsato.

There was a small gang on the gate there, including a Vagabond. A very still Vagabond. A very close Vagabond. Which quickly became a very dead Vagabond. I was only able to get my drones on it before it died, but as it was aggressed, we received no CONCORD response.

Quickly proceeding to the Tama gate in Kedama, we found a Cerberus. It was a very quick affair, as it was apparently outfitted purely for offensive use. Such a ignominious fate for a tech 2 cruiser. This time, I only managed to get a point on it, and thus elicited a CONCORD response.

As I searched my scanner input in an attempt to nab the pod, I had trouble focusing on it, as there were a great number of ships clouding my sensors. My camera drones soon confirmed what my instincts had already known, we were now on the business end of a factional defense fleet.

I initiated the procedure for a warp out as ships began to appear all over the place and the alarm was raised over the voice coms of my fleet. As my Myrmidon hurtled into space, my sensors picked up the explosions of our Vexor (Spectre3353) and Rupture (Golden Helmet).

When the enemy fleet left the system, the remnants of my gang regrouped and waited out my GCC, as I was the only survivor who had aggressed on the gate. We decided that our group was no longer combat viable and began the long trek home..."

The PDA prompted Lanissum with an "Out Of Memory Error." He fumbled in the darkness for a new memory chip, before finally finding one near the sink. Wondering if it had been damaged by moisture, he popped it in and smiled as the error message disappeared. He once again resumed working on his entry.

"Coms went out with a report of a Drake, missioning in Aurohunen. As our prober worked his magic, we prepped our ships for what would be a grinding fight, as we had only 1 cruiser and my Myrmidon on hand for a scramble.

As soon as our prober got a hit, we warped as a fleet to the indicated spot. Only to land upon a gate. We took this opportunity for our prober to get his own cruiser. When he returned, we sent the Thorax (Lachesis) through. In an attempt to trick the Drake into a fight, if he was too far away to get a point on.

Unfortunately, the Drake warped off to a station. The Thorax followed, so as to keep tabs on it. The Vexor (Nemain Darru) and I stayed on the gate, as the mission was far from complete. Soon, the Thorax reported that the Drake had left the station. Under my orders, Lachesis stayed docked until I picked him up on my scanners.

The Drake soon arrived, and was promptly ganked by our combined firepower. Unfortunately, we failed to nab the pod.

Not too long after, more of our corp undocked. There was a raven sighted in Dantumi, ratting. In a belt. It was already engaged with a Harbinger, which had similar aspirations to ours. We burst upon the scene, pointing the Raven but primarying the Harbinger.

The Harbinger wisely decided to cede us his prey. But let us know of his displeasure.

[ 2009.03.22 20:26:04 ] Mazzarra > he was mine :(
[ 2009.03.22 20:26:09 ] Lanissum > sorry
[ 2009.03.22 20:26:10 ] Spectre3353 > you were ours :/
[ 2009.03.22 20:26:13 ] Lanissum > lol
[ 2009.03.22 20:26:23 ] Mazzarra > lol

We quickly destroyed the Raven, and the subsequent pod, before quickly leaving the scene of our crime; lest we follow the Raven's footsteps. After our GCC's expired, we noticed a pair of battleships floating around a station in Dantumi. We engaged, but were outclassed, as we had only a Dominix and a few cruisers, including my Thorax; which died bravely-- frantically pleading with station control for docking permission."

Lanissum paused briefly for a drink of water, before finishing his report.

"After the loss of my Thorax, many of our members took a breather. I was left working on my now battle scarred Myrmidon. As I briefly checked the station guest manifest, I noticed that the Drake pilot who we had previously destroyed was back, with a new Drake. I looked out my port window, which overlooked the docking bay, to see that very Drake in the process of undocking.

With a speed not seen since my old Python days, I screamed at the master chief to prepare my battle cruiser. I quickly followed the Drake outside. Opening communications with the Drake pilot, I attempted to gain his confidence. I had to get him off of this station, as I would not be able to beat both him and the station guns.

He proved to be surprisingly credulous, joining my fleet after I solemnly assured him that:

[ 2009.03.22 22:06:03 ] Lanissum > If we fleet up, we can do the mish together; we don't shoot at gangmates
[ 2009.03.22 22:06:18 ] Lanissum > [or corpmates, lol]
[ 2009.03.22 22:06:45 ] Snih > :) i knw, I lose 30M for my ship
[ 2009.03.22 22:07:10 ] Snih > temporary?
[ 2009.03.22 22:07:14 ] Lanissum > Yeah

Shocked that he had placed his ship's computers under my control, I quickly warped us to an out of the way spot in space. After a prolonged fight, due mainly to the Drake's natural tanking abilities, I had my way with both his new Drake and pod."

Lanissum put down the PDA, looking visibly relieved. He briefly checked his surroundings for anything out of place, and went back to bed.

Screw that crap!

The kid was just walking home from school at the mercantile station, when he noticed a familiar face sitting in the bar. He was nursing a new alchoholic Quaf drink, and looked deep in thought. The kid hesitated for a moment, and approached the grizzled man.
"Um, mister Lanissum... I haven't seen you for awhile, it's nice to see you again, where have you been all these months?"

Lanissum stifled his annoyance, and put down his drink; giving a kindly smile to the young boy.

He started off in his gruff voice
"Well, after The Python Cartel disbanded, I floated around for awhile before joining the Bastards. Before floating around again, and joining The Python Cartel MkII"

The boy, whose curiosity no longer outweighed his anxiety, scampered off.

However, the man started pondering the events leading up to rejoining the Cartel and began dictating to his digital notepad.
"... Then I got tired of flying around w/ the Bastards. There were TZ differences (Brits and Americans) and I swear the local population of victims must've been Chinese.

Anyhow, I joined Canadian Imperial Armaments, a member of Veritas-Imortalis alliance. They were a nice bunch of peeps... But after getting this Team Speak error:

[15:52:12] Unable to login. Your IP has been banned.
Your IP has been banned for 10 Minutes!

for the third time already, and considering that I still don't know what the alliance's tactical situation is; beyond that we're fighting w-4nuu for sovereignty. I've seen huge fleets of ships not doing all that much, and the fleet op's I've been on seemed disjointed to me.

Then, there's the question of why fight for sovereignty in 0.0? I don't rat or mine, and I can find a fight pretty much anywhere in EvE, so why be subserviant to an alliance? Last time I did that, I lost a 100m Myrmidon, got booted out for 'spying' w/ threats, and abused by the now infamous Kow Killa.

With wormholes... 'neutral' 0.0 is just a few systems away no matter where you are.
So, I joined a re-born

Got on vent, talked to good friends again; and even got a Thorax on Apoc kill. An auspicious start to be sure."

He put down his drink, and walked into the fading light back to his captain's quarters.