Saturday, May 16, 2009

Beware of the Ban Hammer!

Lanissum is 1 year and 1 day old today. I fondly remember my earlier days of naivety...
My first lost ship was a Thorax, after I emptied a can outside a Dodixie station. Such days are long gong... Today, I fly HAC's, and my much vaunted Vexor of do0m with a confirmed 19 kills to it's name.

During a recent scam-a-thon, I ran into a particularly funny character.
The chat log, edited for brevity, can be found below.

Bold are particularly interesting parts, Italics are parts where a 'CCP' Employee is talking.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Channel ID: 2143487849
Channel Name: Private Chat (Captain Trautman)
Listener: ME
Session started: 2009.05.15 02:00:46
---------------------------------------------------------------
...
[Steal 100m or so]
...
[The threats begin]
[ 2009.05.15 02:30:39 ] Captain Trautman > no only 1 contract: 90 millions in exchange of vexor navy issue
[ 2009.05.15 02:30:56 ] Captain Trautman > otherwise i'll have to report you to CCp
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:02 ] ME > k, i give u 90m u give me vexor
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:07 ] Captain Trautman > yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:08 ] ME > please, don't do that
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:12 ] ME > [kk, one sec]
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:31 ] Captain Trautman > it's up to you buddy, a mega costs 80, i'm paying it to you 90
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:45 ] Captain Trautman > 90 is fare u made 10 millions in 10 minutes u should enought satisfied
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:45 ] ME > eh, I sent you the contract
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:54 ] ME > i pay you 90m, you give me vex, and don't tell ccp
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:57 ] ME > deal?
[ 2009.05.15 02:32:16 ] Captain Trautman > exactely
[ 2009.05.15 02:32:18 ] ME > kk
[ 2009.05.15 02:32:22 ] ME > sent the contract
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:05 ] Captain Trautman > did not get it yet
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:09 ] ME > sure?
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:15 ] ME > i'll link it
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:41 ] ME > [Want to Trade]
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:50 ] ME > there it is
[ 2009.05.15 02:34:14 ] ME > just remember, don't tell CCP, or they'll ban me
[ 2009.05.15 02:34:39 ] Captain Trautman > Cristal actually you are getting me impatience
[ 2009.05.15 02:34:46 ] Captain Trautman > the contract you are giving me is fake
[ 2009.05.15 02:34:51 ] ME > its real enough
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:04 ] Captain Trautman > it says i pay u 90 millions plus a vexor
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:08 ] ME > woops
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:12 ]ME > u gonna report me?
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:25 ] Captain Trautman > i will report yuo right away if i dont cash 90 millions right now
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:47 ] ME > you're not gonna get ANYTHING out of me, BAN OR OTHERWISE
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:53 ] Captain Trautman > u got the wrong guy coz' 2 days ago i had a job interview with CCP
[ 2009.05.15 02:36:05 ] ME > do your worste
[ 2009.05.15 02:36:45 ] ME > how long do i have before u get me banned?
[ 2009.05.15 02:37:07 ] Captain Trautman > thnx for all ur kind words, this is evidence for CCP.
[ 2009.05.15 02:37:19 ] ME > evidence?
[ 2009.05.15 02:37:22 ] Captain Trautman > We can have a deal buddy and both of us could leave safely and smoothly
[ 2009.05.15 02:37:41 ] ME > I don't deal with people, I'm alergic to homo sapiens
[ 2009.05.15 02:38:34 ] ME > that it?
[ 2009.05.15 02:38:54 ] Captain Trautman > i'm asking to you one more time, you pay me back 90 millions, i give you the vexor back or you give me 180 millions back and i give yuo both ships and we are fine
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:03 ] Captain Trautman > this would be like it never happened
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:32 ] ME > If I stand for nothing, i will fall for anything
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:41 ] ME > all that evil needs to succeed is for good men to do nothing
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:44 ] Captain Trautman > or, we are square and yuo enjoy your last time in eve with this your current account
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:56 ] ME > square?
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:59 ] Captain Trautman > read the rules before connign people
[ 2009.05.15 02:40:18 ] ME > rules? what rules?
[ 2009.05.15 02:40:34 ] Captain Trautman > all the transactions, all the chats could be evidences in case of problems.
[ 2009.05.15 02:40:42 ] ME > there are problems, alright
[ 2009.05.15 02:41:03 ] ME > i'm bored
[ 2009.05.15 02:42:10 ] Captain Trautman > eheh one more time, you pay me back for one or 2 ships i give you back one or 2 ships
[ 2009.05.15 02:42:25 ] ME > or, I just close this convo, and rofl
[ 2009.05.15 02:42:55 ] Captain Trautman > and you'd risk your account to be banned?
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:06 ] Captain Trautman > it's up to you buddy
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:11 ] ME > hm
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:25 ] ME > will you settle for just buying a real navy vexor from me?
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:28 ] ME > for 50m?
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:45 ] Captain Trautman > no
[ 2009.05.15 02:45:51 ] Captain Trautman > Cristal, I've a CCP liason online on another chat
[ 2009.05.15 02:46:07 ] Captain Trautman > it's up to you now
[ 2009.05.15 02:46:55 ] ME > invite him here
[ 2009.05.15 02:47:59 ] Captain Trautman > k
[ 2009.05.15 02:48:37 ] Captain Trautman > he has just reviewed what u wrote me, and when u admitted u sold me renamed ships he said it's enought for ban you
[ 2009.05.15 02:49:34 ] ME > right
[ 2009.05.15 02:49:39 ] ME > invite him here plz
[ 2009.05.15 02:50:32 ] Icer Xx > hello
[ 2009.05.15 02:50:43 ] ME > hey
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:16 ] Icer Xx > Cristal
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:24 ] ME > Yes?
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:31 ] Icer Xx > Did you sell Captain Trautman fake ships?
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:36 ] ME > yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:50 ] Icer Xx > That violates the EULA
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:59 ] ME > It does?
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:05 ] Icer Xx > yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:10 ] ME > ok
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:14 ] ME > ban me then, plz
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:28 ] Icer Xx > I do not Wish to ban you
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:49 ] ME > You're from CCP, right?
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:00 ] Icer Xx > i believe that was evident
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:08 ] ME > well, are you?
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:29 ] Icer Xx > yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:38 ] ME > right, so enforce the EULA and ban me then
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:54 ] ME > why am i still here?
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:54 ] Icer Xx > in 24 to 48 hours you will no longer be able to log on
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:57 ] Icer Xx > goodbye
[ 2009.05.15 02:54:05 ] ME > NOOO
[ 2009.05.15 02:55:47 ] ME > if he'll come back, and forgive me, i'll give u back all your stuff man
[ 2009.05.15 02:56:59 ] ME > ?
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:03 ] ME > oh
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:13 ] Icer Xx > It is my understanding you just paid Captain back?
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:15 ] ME > thank you, for giving me one last opportunity to right what I have wronged
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:20 ] ME > yes, yes, yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:35 ] Icer Xx > Thank you ME
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:49 ] ME > captain is awefully quiet
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:55 ] Captain Trautman > i'm here
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:00 ] Captain Trautman > reading
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:07 ] ME > are you alts?
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:08 ] Icer Xx > He doesn't talk very much it seems.
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:19 ] Captain Trautman > i had enought for tonite
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:23 ] Icer Xx > I am an alt, but which character of i may not divulge.
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:32 ] ME > kk
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:32 ] Icer Xx > since the t20 incident
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:38 ] ME > glad you got your isk back, captain
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:44 ] Captain Trautman > as cristal pays i no longer have any interest in proceeding against him
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:50 ] ME > thank you
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:51 ] ME > so much
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:57 ] Captain Trautman > not yet Cristal
[ 2009.05.15 02:59:07 ] ME > but i already paid!
[ 2009.05.15 02:59:27 ] Icer Xx > There you have it Cristal, Captain has no reason to proceed in the termination of your account.
[ 2009.05.15 02:59:54 ] ME > thank you for your mercy, oh highest one
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:04 ] Icer Xx > Thank you for your time and effort in making EVE Online a great online game.
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:12 ] ME > haha
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:15 ] ME > still got ur isks
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:40 ] Captain Trautman > have a great night and sleep tight
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:48 ] ME > u even checked ur wallet?
[ 2009.05.15 03:01:43 ] Captain Trautman > yuo did not pay me anything, i'm dropping this convo and proceed with the report
[ 2009.05.15 03:01:49 ] ME > :(

5 comments:

Shae Tiann said...

*cracks up* Icer Xx is the dumbass who's been hanging about outside our station losing Stabber Navy Issues and smacking terribly in Local.

I'm pretty certain impersonating a CCP employee is a bannable offense...

Flashfresh said...

It's against the EULA to impersonate a CCP employee.

Lanissum said...

It is indeed, I already petitioned him :)

Btw, what system would your station be at, Shae?

Vasavia said...

This. This right here. Pure Awesome.

Yargok said...

Pure awesome indeed.

I would love the irony of the Icer dude getting banned himself.