Empire: Total War Shoutcast #6 part 1 (of 2)

Empire: Total War Shoutcast #5

Empire: Total War Shoutcasts #3 & #4

Empire: Total War Shoutcast #2

This fight features:

Me, as Prussia
vs.

Doodoo Butter

Was a bit static at first, neither side willing to engage; merely exchanging shots on the extreme flanks. But then it hit the fan...

Empire: Total War Shoutcast #1

Recently, E:TW added the new grassy flatlands map. This has significantly increased the number of players looking for a fight.

One of those players was your's truly. This fight features:

Me, as Prussia
vs.
Colonel Williams, as Great Britain

Anatomy of the Con

Bored witless during missions?

Unlucky in lootdrops and ransoms?

Frustrated in your attempts at scamming?

Well fear not, my compatriots, for the Master of the Art of Scamming is about to impart his secrets upon yee favored ones.

Step 1. Gather up a decent number of renamed 'faction' ships. You'll need at least 6 'faction' cruisers and 2 'faction' battleships.

Explanation: The cruisers are for all the small fry who have maybe 1 or 2 hundred mil, but are still stupid enough to fall for your scam. The battleships are for the international playboy types who have deep pockets, there's nothing wrong with having a bunch of 'faction' battleships, just keep it believable. After all, if you have 20 'faction' battleships... that's gonna be hard to explain.

Step 2. Create a believable cover story which:

A: Explains your need for selling this ships now, and at a reduced price

B: Explains your lack of contracts Explanation: Anyone can sell a 'Navy Mega' for it's proper price. But what are the chances that some1 will buy your fake navy mega over a legit one? Slim, probably. You need something to entice more people towards your deal, and hopefully snag that one guy who will believe it.

That thing, for me at least, was a reduced price. Eg, I sell my navy vexors for 50m (not 80-100m) and navy megas for 300m (not 400m). I also make sure to point out the 'normal' price to all my potential customers.

My preferred cover story is that I'm moving to Jita, and stand to make more money than I'm losing in this 'deal'. Also, all my contracts are tied up in couriers.

Step 3. Look at your station guest list, and start convoing 4-5 at a time, proposing your deal and informing any parties of your deal.

Explanation: This very efficiently allows you to reach 100+ people very quickly. Pretty much the only people who talk with you are interested.

Step 4: Reel them in.

Explanation: This takes practice, and an understanding of the minutae of human interaction. You must gain their trust, understand what motivates them to take your deal, and what hinders them in doing so. For the most part, greed and distrust are the motivators and deal killers.

4b. Let them go, if necessary.

Explanation: If they clearly state they are not interested/want a contract etc. Just let them go, play aloof ship dealer who knows he'll have no problem selling stuff. Don't waste five minutes begging them to buy your ship. Often, I've received convos later when they've reconsidered and want to deal. Also, that five minutes you waste on them can be spent on someone more credulous.

5. Profit!

5a. All tears are recorded in chat logs, try and keep them going on particularly big sells, they often create a large amount of delicious tears.

5b. Yesterday, in the span of 35 minutes, I made 2.2 Billion isk. Below is the donor list, as well as selected chat logs.

Amount, in Mil. Name. Eve Time.

850,000,000------- Divad Ebur------14:30

600,000,000------ Goliath Dark------14:14

400,000,000------- Amira Lana------14:31

300,000,000-------- Inferatus-------13:56

50,000,000-------- freelander1------14:02

NOTE: I recommend you use a different story and ship type (vexor, mega) than mine. If only because many people have interacted with me and may thus be onto you (and vice versa). Some systems I recommend: Amarr, Dodixie, Hek.

Apendix A: Chat log of a 850m score:

ME > Hey there

ME > I presume you're interested in my offer?

Divad Ebur > yes i sure am

ME > Righto, I have 2 navy megas, and 5 navy vexors

Divad Ebur > the vexor still avail?

ME > yeppers

Divad Ebur > good deal

Divad Ebur > how about 250 for the 5 vexors? and both megas for 300 each?

ME > Um, sure

I'm stoked, but don't let him know it.

ME > Thats like 850m?

Play carefree dude, don't be piratey and '850m or your life!'. That doesn't work here.

Divad Ebur > 850mill yep

ME > I'll throw them all in whenever you're ready

Put the burden of initiative on him, make him think about what HE has to do, not you (and thus the ships)

Divad Ebur > k

ME > Do you have 850m?

Play hard to satisfy, if he thinks you're afraid of getting scammed by him, he won't be that scared of you.

Divad Ebur > yep. 1.7bil

ME > kk

But don't take 'I'm afraid of scams' too far

ME > There they all are

ME > just waiting on you now m8

ME > 850m

ME > Ready

Divad Ebur > thanks

850m into my pocket.

ME > np

No problem, at all

Divad Ebur > enjoy your afternoon!

ME > I will lawl

Indeed, I will

Apendix B: 600m Score

ME > Hey there

Goliath Dark > o/

Goliath Dark > Megathron Navy Issues.. 300m each hm?

ME > I presume you're interested in my offer? (yeah, 2 of them)

ME > I also have 5 navy vexors

Goliath Dark > i take them if they are navy

Goliath Dark > the mega's

ME > All of them? 0_o

ME > oh, lol kk

ME > There they are, 600m please

ME > Ready

600m into my pocket

Goliath Dark > fuck i dont think^^ busterd lol

Hehe, speed is a good thing too, they don't think if they hurry.

ME > lol

Goliath Dark > now i have to find a idiot

ME > You didnt

ME > Shouldn't take too long

ME > How much have you got left?

Goliath Dark > ^^ Goliath Dark > 93 mio

ME > lol

ME > owch owch owch

Owch owowowow

Apendix C: 400m Score

ME > What would you like to buy?

Amira Lana > all

ME > 2 Navy Megas and 5 Navy vexors?

ME > thats like 850m

Amira Lana > mega and only 2 vexor pleas

Amira Lana > for 400m

ME > Show me the isk then please

Amira Lana > hallo, what this

Amira Lana > you do acontract with 400m

ME > I don't have any contracts

Deflect the inevitable contract request in any reasonable way, it rarely works, but when it does...

Amira Lana > i accipt

300m for the 'navy mega'

ME > Ready when you are

ME > 100m for the two navy vexors

Amira Lana > ok

100m for the 'navy vexors'

ME > tyvm

Amira Lana > cu

Apendix D: Hate mail

I don't even know what the ordering of these are. A victim, Amira Lana (400m), and a few of her buddies mail me with vague threats of police action etc. Enjoy.

2009.08.23 19:44

2009.08.23 14:52

ME

you are a very bad

the ships are not navy ships, only from you the names.

you must giv me the 400 million back.

I give you 24 hour to retern the deal.

if not, then i send a pitition to ccp

hier is your convo opening:

2009.08.22 14:02

Here is my convo pasting.

----------------------------------------------------------

2009.08.23 15:11

hallo ME ,

this is avery very very bad.

and a big swindling, you are not gamer, you are a shark.

it is nat the 250m or 300m loos, what you doing it is not fair.

amira

------------------------------------------------------------

2009.08.23 19:44

2009.08.23 16:01

hi ME

with it I no other ones would walk against you undertakes, I ask you to accept the return contract.

I give you 24 hours for it, then I will write in CCP a Pitition, because of deception.

Also a police announcement is not excluded.

so to make it easier, take back your deceitful trade.

Amira Lana

-------------------------------

2009.08.23 16:32

yours amounted against amira lana

hi ME ,

is ashamed for this action

nevertheless, you are a player and no swindler.

so return Amira Lana her money and take your ships.

We want no problems with you

Jafar Aljabbar

-----------------------------------

2009.08.23 19:45

2009.08.23 17:16

hi ME

this is audacious, audacious amounted.

you give a normal ship a navy name and sell it as a navy ship.

However, this is not clever because CCP has everybody infos and you can get many problems, all that because of 300m

this is a shit

I Accidentally the Blue...

As the warp tunnel collapsed around my Taranis, ste sensors began peering into the depths of the asteroid belt.

It wasn't long before they found a dueling Taranis and Crusader. I instantly set my Taranis for full speed towards the duo. Just before I reached engagement range, the enemy Taranis took a direct hit in the bow, tumbled, and then disintegrated in a fiery explosion.

My Taranis' warp jammer and propulsion webifier were pushed beyond their operational limits, as I expected the Crusader to attempt to flee or hold it's distance.

Surprisingly, the Crusader sat there until I finally reached it and pointed it. It didn't do anything, until my blaster batteries began to pound away at it.

As all interceptor fights are, it was short and brutal, but I managed to land a direct hit on him while in 30% structure myself.

I immediatly pointed the pod, counting on the speed of the attack to prevent the enemy capsuleer from escaping in time. This time, my tackling gear managed to nab the pod.

I initiated a convo with the pilot, in an attempt to honorably ransom this foe. Suddenly, klaxons blared! A Republic Fleet Firetail had just landed! My ship, in it's current state, was useless. I immediately destroyed the pod, and attempted to escape.

But I was too slow, the warp drive was already shut down. My improved senses could already perceive the incoming, killer, blow about to land upon my Taranis. I instantly initiated escape proceedures, so as to avoid the fate of my prior victim. Fortunately, I managed to escape.

I realized that in my haste, I hadn't read the convo with the Crusader pilot, opening..:

[ 2009.08.26 00:41:21 ] Triksterism > We're blue

[ 2009.08.26 00:41:23 ] Triksterism > you fucking douche



Oh shit... he wasn't kidding.

Mind Warfare

This is why I came to WH space.
Me, against the many.
I have little firepower, and few defenses.
I have only my wits, and skills, against their superior firepower and numbers.

I slide through the depths of space, watching...
waiting...

Silent, but deadly.
They will know the meaning of fear
As they probe for me in futility.
Only to have me strike when they are lax.

I know where they are.
I know how many of them there are.
I know what they fly.

I know my enemy.
The enemy is mine.

The Curse

The sensors immediately began seeking my corp mate's ship as I got clearance to undock in my new Amarrian Force Recon ship, a Curse. The complete ship cost well over 100,000,000 ISK, most families are lucky to make 10,000 ISK in a single standard year, which equates to 10,000 standard years of labor (for them) and a few minutes for me.

That being said, it would be silly to fly this cap draining ship immediately into combat. None of my main line ships have ever been so radically different from my Blasterz n' Dronez approach to PvP. Thus, a corp mate had agreed to do a few test duels with me.

In short, Antigone's Revenge was kitted out as follows:

[Curse, Eater of Capacitors]
Damage Control II
Overdrive Injector System II
Nanofiber Internal Structure II
Nanofiber Internal Structure II

Large Shield Extender II
Large Shield Extender II
Invulnerability Field I
Y-T8 Overcharged Hydrocarbon I Microwarpdrive
Medium Electrochemical Capacitor Booster I, Cap Booster 800
Warp Disruptor II

50W Infectious Power System Malfunction
50W Infectious Power System Malfunction
5W Infectious Power System Malfunction
5W Infectious Power System Malfunction
Improved Cloaking Device II

Core Defence Field Extender I
Core Defence Field Extender I


Hammerhead II x5 [x2]
Warrior II x5 [x2]

As Brick0Joe's Harbinger landed on me, I ordered a long range orbit of 25 Kilometers to minimize his damage while I neuted him.

A few seconds later, I was comfortable orbiting him, taking minimal damage from his lasers while his drones nibbled away at me. I began locking them, only to find out I had a 10 second lock time per drone. Note, drop the cloak, not terribly useful for solo fights.

However, my neuts kept cycling off, as I would continually wander out of their current max range (26 km). In a real fight, I'd have lost point by now, but I'll need to practice staying within certain distances from a moving target, although Recon Ships IV will be done in 2 days, so that should help in gang fights.

As my shields dropped to about 20%, I told Brick that his sole flight of drones were now destroyed, as it would be poor etiquette to actually destroy them in a test fight. By now, my neuts were taking noticeable effect. Brick's lasers had stopped firing, and he had slowed down considerably.

I engaged my MWD and closed into a tight orbit of 500m. I deactivated my 2 medium neuts and began to cycle to two small neuts I'd use to keep him capped out. Suddenly, beams lashed out at my ship, taking a large chunk out of my shields. I immediately reactivated my other two neuts and pushed another 800 charge into the core. This time, I didn't turn off my medium neuts until I was certain he was actually dead in the water.

It wasn't too long before Brick was forced to concede the fight. Although, I've learned a few valuable lessons before I take Antigone's Revenge into a real fight.
1. Drop the cloak, makes it harder to tackle and attack drones.
2. Fit a medium SB, to take/harass out drones.
3. Drope the Overdrive II for a PDU II, the extra grid, cargo for cap charges, shield, cap, and cap recharge are all more usefull than 125m/s.
4. Work on MWD/range micro
5. Guestimate how long each ship class should take to cap out. I put out about -50 cap/sec at range and -32 cap/sec close up, or -82.5 total cap/sec.

Frigates- 1 cycle pretty much
Cruisers- circa 1400 cap = 28 seconds at range, 43 sec close up, 17 sec in omfg mash buttons!
BC's- circa 3000 cap = 60 seconds range, 93 seconds close up, 36 sec in omfgmb!
BS's (probably a bad idea to begin with)- circa 7k cap= 140 sec at range, 218 seconds close up, 84 seconds in omfgmb!

Soon, very soon, Antigone's Revenge will slip out into the dark of space... seeking revenge.

Skills, Gotta Get Them All!

Many people complain about the inherent advantage older players get than newer ones, because there is basically no way for a newer char to get more skill points than an equal char.

Proponents of the current skill system claim (with a good degree of truth) that newer players can become just as proficient as any older player at doing any one thing, but that older players are just proficient at more things.

As I sit here, typing this up, I haven't really played much EvE for the past week or so. This is mainly because I'm waiting for Amarr Cruiser V to finally finish (5 days from now) and let me fly the Curse (Neuting from 30km away? Hell yah)

Currently, there is only one way of 'catching up' with the older players SP wise. That way is by purchasing a character (for a large isk sum) from somebody else made. I don't really like this 'solution', namely because it requires that you literally become an older player. As I sit on 4 billion + isk, I don't really want to buy an Uber PvP char (which probably costs 10b +) because I've invested over a year into Lanissum.

Instead, I'd like to suggest a few alternatives to purchasing an entire new character.
1. Instead of transfering the purchased character, the new character's skills (and assets, etc) are merged with yours, and the new character ceases to exist.

Pros: You get your SP's, they get their ISK, CCP gets more disk space, you don't have to trash your precious main.

Cons: Can't really think of any, although if you change your mind, it's not like you can just resell the char. (Well, you could, but then you'd basically be doing the same thing I'm trying to avoid here)

2. Instead of buying a character, you buy individual skills (pay x isk to finish a currently training skill now). The exchange rate would probably have to make it more expensive than buying a new char (I think that rate is about 200mil ISK/mil SP, so maybe 250m ISK/SP?)

Pros: You get exactly what you want, right now, instant gratification.

Cons: CCP doesn't get their $14 fee (kinda lame, since all they do is a quick database manipulation -_-)

3. Instead of buying a character, you pay to increase your training rate for a certain amount of time (or SP). Similar to the current noob 'x2 training bonus until 1.6 mil SP'

Pros: You get what you want.

Cons: If you just want to finish a skill NOW, too bad. And you better have a plan for all that extra 'bonus training' if you don't want to waste it.


I most prefer #2, although #3 would do in a pinch (namely because it's 'already implemented'). I especially like the idea of being able to actually catch up to older players without becoming one of them.

What do you think?

Well, That Went Well....

Today, we went a wormhole op thought up by the Benevolent Leader, Golden Helmet. It was a dismal failure. We spent half the day scanning down wormholes and finding 0 targets. As we went deeper into U-space we kept bookmarks at all the wormholes.

It was a great plan, until one of the wormholes collapsed, separating 8 or so of us from our direct route home. When we finally did find a wormhole into lowsec, it was 30 jump trek home. And we still didn't get any kills.

I eventually had some fun in Amamake, 3-1 freeforall style, to offset the utterly boring day I had.

All Hail the Benevolent Leader, Golden Helmet.

Massacre

I was shaken from my reverie as my Ishtar suddenly lept into warp towards an asteroid belt. I quickly asked Spectre, our FC, if he had warped us all to 0. I sighed after receiving an affirmative, as my Ishtar's tank was reliant on speed. Reaching down to the comm panel, I warned engineering to hit the MWD as soon as we landed in the belt.

Before long, the shuddering increased again as the Ishtar re-entered normal space. Asteroids were becoming visible on the view screen, and the signatures of enemy ships were resolving. As soon as I landed, my Ogre II's slipped into the depths of space, chasing a Brutix which had been primaried. The Ogre II's went in for the kill, litterally blasting it apart, while I orbited the maelstrom of the fight, secure from danger.

But before my Ogre II's reached a rupture, their next target, an enemy Falcon uncloaked. I immediately siezed the initiative and began streaking towards it. Unfortunately, the Falcon pilot noticed me and ran away. As I was now effectively on the outskirts of the fight, I ignored the primary calling of Spectre.

Instead, I targeted an enemy Stealth Bomber which had uncloaked and begun firing off volleys of torpedoes at my comrades. I locked and pointed it instantly, depriving it of the ability to cloak or run. My Warrior II's danced around the now helpless Nemesis. Just as it entered structure, a volley of torpedoes from Lachesis's Stealth Bomber landed a direct hit, ripping through the flimsly craft.

Instantly, I lached onto yet another Stealth Bomber which had unwisely shown itself during the fight. I laughed at it's pittiful attempts to escape, as my Warrior II's shredded the doomed Manticore.

Suddenly, the silence of space was no longer punctuated by the silent concussion waves of blasters and torpedoes. As soon as it had begun, the fight was over.

The enemy had lost 1 Battlecruiser, 3 Cruisers, 2 Stealth Bombers, and 2 Frigates. We lost nothing.

The fight was not as one sided as it looks, they did have a falcon, but they failed to protect it from my Ishtar, which forced it off grid.

As the fleet was preparing to warp to a SS, our scanners picked up an enemy Abbadon and Stabber Fleet Issue fleeing into Amamake. We briefly considered the danger of bringing our GCC'ed fleet into Amamake, possibly the most dangerous system in EvE (after Rancer), but decided to press the matter.

As my Ishtar phased out of Jump Space, I could already see the projectiles and lasers streaking across the silence of space. I immediately locked the Abaddon and sent my Ogre II's, despite the sentry fire, on it. It was a race against time, the Abaddon was straining, ever so slowly to get within 2.5 Km of the gate, it was less than a kilometer away. Throwing all caution to the wind, I ordered my Ishtar into a tight 500m orbit of the ship, and activated my triple blaster battery. The shuddering was immense, I couldn't tell when my volleys left the Ishtar and when sentry fire hit it.

Just as it seemed like the Abaddon was going to escape from us, Kerblamo's Tempest phased into Real Space and fired a torpedo volley into the stricken Battleship. Suddenly, it's engines died down... the piloting lights flickered out... and it just sat there, for a moment, before the majestic ship imploded on itself.

Checking my sensors, I realized that the Fleet Stabber was still here, on the gate, even though it had had more than enough time to make good it's escape.

It was a mistake we capitalized on.

The Simple Things in Life

Leaving my quarters, I checked the comms channels on my way to the hanger. They were rather quiet tonight... so I would be flying solo. Peering into the depths of my hanger, I saw a small ship that I hadn't flown for a very very long time.... the Taranis Tech II Interceptor Class Frigate.

As I left the docking ramp I punched in a course for Siseide, which would take me through Amamake. I didn't fear getting caught in any gate camps, as I would be almost impossible to point before I warped off.

Soon, I arrived in Siseide.. it was a quiet system tonight, only 4 in local. There was a Hawk, Punisher, and Tristan on scan. It was apparent that the Tristan and Punisher were together, the Hawk was an unknown factor.

I detected the Tristan at a belt, I immediately warped in, only to see the ship warp to yet another belt. The ships computer anticipated my command and threw me into warp. Seconds later, as the tendrils of the warp stream gave up their grasp of my ship, the klaxons blared as both the Punisher and Tristan were within 10 Km of me.

Grinning, I ordered a tight orbit around the Tristan, the more immediate threat. My warp scrambler and stasis web held him down. As soon as the lock resolved, my pair of light drones slipped into the cold of space, seeking their target. The vibrations were so sharp, I didn't notice when my trio of blaster batteries fired, nor when I took a hit.

The Tristan didn't hold out for long, dying horribly as one of my drones flew into, and exploded out the other side of the ship with a good portion of the frigate's innards.

As I turned my attentions to the Punisher, the ships computer notified me of shield failure. Ignoring the alert, I pushed the attack, ordering a speedier, but wider orbit. However, it soon became apparent that we were both taking proportional amounts of damage. Deciding that the situation was untenable, I disengaged my afterburner and orbited even closer to the Punisher. Hoping that the superior firepower of my blasters could surmount his superior tank before my Taranis gave way.

Just as the last of my ship's armor gave way to hull, the Punisher suddenly imploded, atmoshpere, crew, and myriad of other debreis venting into the cold of outer space. I immediately locked the pod and destroyed it, collecting yet another corpse for my already commendable collection.

Noting that only I and the Hawk pilot remained, I vacted Siseide on my return trip home.

High Tech Assault

It seemed like tonight was going to be a boring night, despite the earlier faction fitted armor & shield tanked missioning Hurricane we killed only half an hour ago. As I glanced into my hanger, my eyes briefly looked upon my Lachesis, which had never seen combat. An idea formed in my head. I immediately sent out a call for a Recon Ship roam and before I knew it we had a gang getting ready to leave Gulmorogod.

We quickly scampered through Amamake and into Siseide. There, we found and ganked a lone Stabber and figured out exactly how much punishment a Punisher could take. We tried to scan down another pair of ships, but they were jumping all over the place, so we moved onto Egghelende.

It wasn't long before we scanned down a Brutix and Hurricane. Although, as we began to land on the unfortunate duo, it became apparent that scanning them down had been redundant- they were in an asteroid belt.

However, the Brutix and Hurricane were far apart, nessecitating that our gang split up points and damage between them. My Lachesis kept a point on the Brutix, while Spectre split his between both the Brutix and Hurricane. Felix, in his Rapier, webbed the Hurricane down so it's normally superior speed would not be able to save it.

My Lachesis did have a bit of a difficult time keeping up with the Brutix, although it was slower I almost forgot to turn off my MWD to preserve my capacitor. But before long, both the Brutix and Hurricane were dead.

My (limited) experience with fighting from a long range has been quite interesting, speed/range tanking is really quite a nice change from my typical 'Blasterz n' Dronez' approach to PvP. It's rather empowering to keep your prey at arms reach while you plink them to death, knowing that they can do nothing, NOTHING! to harm you, much less escape.

But as for my Lachesis's fitting, I think I'll drop the cloak, expanded probe launcher, and a sensor booster in exchange for some rails and another 42km point. Namely because I suck at probing, shouldn't be flying this solo, and the cloak is a hinderence when catching pods- especially when being aligned/jumping around works well enough for avoidance. Though, I still insist on keeping a warp scrambler on it... just incase I need to turn off somebody's MWD.

Tomorrow morning, I'll *finally* have Ogre II's to add to my arsenal of ranged weaponry. Although I skilled up for an Ishtar, I left Ogre II's for after that (bad idea) and have therefore done practically 0 PvP with it. But tomorrow, I'll be able to fly a ship that epitomizes ranged warfare, in a gang, the Ishtar can sit back at an insane distance and deal full DPS while only risking it's current flight of drones. But when needed, it can dive into the fight and deal a heck of a lot more damage to quickly finish off it's prey.

Don't get me started on sentry drones, although I've had them for a long time, I only used them for PvE in 0.0 (in my carebear days). Though, I do like the idea of a slight DPS loss for a static emplacement, especially because those drones are so cheap, I can just dump them mid fight if need be.

Yarr, (skill) doors are opening up to new and exciting forms of combat!

Game Time Codes...

My subscription on Lanissum just ran out. Np, I'll just go buy a GTC... browse browse... WTF!?!

780 mil + for a 60day GTC! That is absurd, and I thought 630 mil was bad... So, here's what I intend to do. Starting tonight, and every few hours for a day or two, I'll make a post that's a bit below the 'norm' price.

However, I'm not actually gonna be selling GTCs, so how will I get by? Simply by inserting a 'contact me ingame' clause & when I get convoed tell them I'm sold out. Wait 5-10 min and make a sold out post on the forums. Ta-da, all the other GTC hawks will hopefully lower their prices to remain competitive to my 'ghost' orders.

To recap- if current price is 780 mil, make a post for

Selling 3x 60d GTC for 750M! [ONLINE NOW]

and specify the 'contact ingame' part.

The only problem with this is I can't make a thousand forum posts w/ the same char, so I'll need your help. I've got 3 chars to post with right now, but every one who joins in the effort can bring three themselves.

The more people who pitch in, the better it'll work, we just need to get enough low posts so as to take up most of a forum page.
Lowering GTC prices will benefit everyone, including you.

So, who's with me?

Judgement Day XXI

She is a beautiful ship. As I walk her perimeter, preparing for long trek home today I reminisce on her history with me.

The day I unpacked her almost 2 months ago was just like any other. Little did I know that I'd keep her with me through roams gone wrong, gate camps, and innumerable ganks.

Her kills include:
1 Assault Frigate
3 Battle Cruisers
4 Battle Ships
5 Capsules
1 Industrial
3 Frigates
1 Cruiser
1 HAC
1 Command Ship
1 Retriever

21 Kills total. Her insurance runs out next month, I've never done that with any of my active PvP ships.

Too bad she'll die someday.

Comrades, Onwards to Victory!

Comrades, today we celebrate the Glorious Victory of our most recent 5 Day Plan!
After the call went out for extra resources to the People, the workers united and provided all that they could!

Today, we have reached our 5 Day Plan 1st Tier Success Goal of:
000,000,000,000.00 ISK!
You should be proud of your collective selves, comrades!
The Politburo, in the spirit of continuing past successes appealed to the unwashed capitalistic masses as well!

And it too was a Glorious Victory for the United Peoples' Republic of AssCrapistan!
Let us take a moment to Recognize the most Benevolent Capitalists, even though they didn't know that they were actually donating to Our Good Cause (What capitalists donate to anything?).

1st Place goes to : EggMand for his 'donation' of ......900,000,000 ISK
2nd Place goes to: Cinanek for his 'donation' of ......300,000,000 ISK
3rd Place goes to: Morak Thun for his 'donation' of 250,000,000 ISK


To further commemorate this Great Victory, the PolitBuro also notes that the Capitalist doners all stepped up to the challenge of maximal donation in the span of no more than 11 Minutes between Morak's and EggMand's donations. For those mathamatically inclined, the Peoples' Republic made over 1 Billion ISK, or 110 Million ISK each minute for 11 Minutes!

Onwards to Victory, Comrades, for tomorrow our latest 5 year plan Begins!

Donate to a Good Cause (TM)

As some of you may or may not know, I have an alt who is about 10 days away from getting to fly a carrier. So, lets take a look at all the isk required to fly a carrier:
Thanatos x1 --- 700,000,000 ISK
Capital Ships -- 350,000,000 ISK
Gall Carrier --- 450,000,000 ISK
Assorted Mods-500,000,000 ISK

That comes to about 1.9 Bil ISK.

Although I do get decent sums of ISK by scamming, I have to pay for 2 separate accounts with ISK which comes to about 1.2 Bil isk / 2 months. I've recently paid my bills, and am rather low on ISK right now.

So, I'm basically asking you, my loyal readers to donate whatever you can spare/feel like to pay for my alt's first carrier. Believe me, I could use it.

Beware of the Ban Hammer!

Lanissum is 1 year and 1 day old today. I fondly remember my earlier days of naivety...
My first lost ship was a Thorax, after I emptied a can outside a Dodixie station. Such days are long gong... Today, I fly HAC's, and my much vaunted Vexor of do0m with a confirmed 19 kills to it's name.

During a recent scam-a-thon, I ran into a particularly funny character.
The chat log, edited for brevity, can be found below.

Bold are particularly interesting parts, Italics are parts where a 'CCP' Employee is talking.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Channel ID: 2143487849
Channel Name: Private Chat (Captain Trautman)
Listener: ME
Session started: 2009.05.15 02:00:46
---------------------------------------------------------------
...
[Steal 100m or so]
...
[The threats begin]
[ 2009.05.15 02:30:39 ] Captain Trautman > no only 1 contract: 90 millions in exchange of vexor navy issue
[ 2009.05.15 02:30:56 ] Captain Trautman > otherwise i'll have to report you to CCp
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:02 ] ME > k, i give u 90m u give me vexor
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:07 ] Captain Trautman > yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:08 ] ME > please, don't do that
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:12 ] ME > [kk, one sec]
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:31 ] Captain Trautman > it's up to you buddy, a mega costs 80, i'm paying it to you 90
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:45 ] Captain Trautman > 90 is fare u made 10 millions in 10 minutes u should enought satisfied
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:45 ] ME > eh, I sent you the contract
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:54 ] ME > i pay you 90m, you give me vex, and don't tell ccp
[ 2009.05.15 02:31:57 ] ME > deal?
[ 2009.05.15 02:32:16 ] Captain Trautman > exactely
[ 2009.05.15 02:32:18 ] ME > kk
[ 2009.05.15 02:32:22 ] ME > sent the contract
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:05 ] Captain Trautman > did not get it yet
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:09 ] ME > sure?
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:15 ] ME > i'll link it
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:41 ] ME > [Want to Trade]
[ 2009.05.15 02:33:50 ] ME > there it is
[ 2009.05.15 02:34:14 ] ME > just remember, don't tell CCP, or they'll ban me
[ 2009.05.15 02:34:39 ] Captain Trautman > Cristal actually you are getting me impatience
[ 2009.05.15 02:34:46 ] Captain Trautman > the contract you are giving me is fake
[ 2009.05.15 02:34:51 ] ME > its real enough
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:04 ] Captain Trautman > it says i pay u 90 millions plus a vexor
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:08 ] ME > woops
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:12 ]ME > u gonna report me?
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:25 ] Captain Trautman > i will report yuo right away if i dont cash 90 millions right now
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:47 ] ME > you're not gonna get ANYTHING out of me, BAN OR OTHERWISE
[ 2009.05.15 02:35:53 ] Captain Trautman > u got the wrong guy coz' 2 days ago i had a job interview with CCP
[ 2009.05.15 02:36:05 ] ME > do your worste
[ 2009.05.15 02:36:45 ] ME > how long do i have before u get me banned?
[ 2009.05.15 02:37:07 ] Captain Trautman > thnx for all ur kind words, this is evidence for CCP.
[ 2009.05.15 02:37:19 ] ME > evidence?
[ 2009.05.15 02:37:22 ] Captain Trautman > We can have a deal buddy and both of us could leave safely and smoothly
[ 2009.05.15 02:37:41 ] ME > I don't deal with people, I'm alergic to homo sapiens
[ 2009.05.15 02:38:34 ] ME > that it?
[ 2009.05.15 02:38:54 ] Captain Trautman > i'm asking to you one more time, you pay me back 90 millions, i give you the vexor back or you give me 180 millions back and i give yuo both ships and we are fine
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:03 ] Captain Trautman > this would be like it never happened
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:32 ] ME > If I stand for nothing, i will fall for anything
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:41 ] ME > all that evil needs to succeed is for good men to do nothing
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:44 ] Captain Trautman > or, we are square and yuo enjoy your last time in eve with this your current account
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:56 ] ME > square?
[ 2009.05.15 02:39:59 ] Captain Trautman > read the rules before connign people
[ 2009.05.15 02:40:18 ] ME > rules? what rules?
[ 2009.05.15 02:40:34 ] Captain Trautman > all the transactions, all the chats could be evidences in case of problems.
[ 2009.05.15 02:40:42 ] ME > there are problems, alright
[ 2009.05.15 02:41:03 ] ME > i'm bored
[ 2009.05.15 02:42:10 ] Captain Trautman > eheh one more time, you pay me back for one or 2 ships i give you back one or 2 ships
[ 2009.05.15 02:42:25 ] ME > or, I just close this convo, and rofl
[ 2009.05.15 02:42:55 ] Captain Trautman > and you'd risk your account to be banned?
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:06 ] Captain Trautman > it's up to you buddy
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:11 ] ME > hm
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:25 ] ME > will you settle for just buying a real navy vexor from me?
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:28 ] ME > for 50m?
[ 2009.05.15 02:43:45 ] Captain Trautman > no
[ 2009.05.15 02:45:51 ] Captain Trautman > Cristal, I've a CCP liason online on another chat
[ 2009.05.15 02:46:07 ] Captain Trautman > it's up to you now
[ 2009.05.15 02:46:55 ] ME > invite him here
[ 2009.05.15 02:47:59 ] Captain Trautman > k
[ 2009.05.15 02:48:37 ] Captain Trautman > he has just reviewed what u wrote me, and when u admitted u sold me renamed ships he said it's enought for ban you
[ 2009.05.15 02:49:34 ] ME > right
[ 2009.05.15 02:49:39 ] ME > invite him here plz
[ 2009.05.15 02:50:32 ] Icer Xx > hello
[ 2009.05.15 02:50:43 ] ME > hey
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:16 ] Icer Xx > Cristal
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:24 ] ME > Yes?
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:31 ] Icer Xx > Did you sell Captain Trautman fake ships?
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:36 ] ME > yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:50 ] Icer Xx > That violates the EULA
[ 2009.05.15 02:51:59 ] ME > It does?
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:05 ] Icer Xx > yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:10 ] ME > ok
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:14 ] ME > ban me then, plz
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:28 ] Icer Xx > I do not Wish to ban you
[ 2009.05.15 02:52:49 ] ME > You're from CCP, right?
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:00 ] Icer Xx > i believe that was evident
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:08 ] ME > well, are you?
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:29 ] Icer Xx > yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:38 ] ME > right, so enforce the EULA and ban me then
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:54 ] ME > why am i still here?
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:54 ] Icer Xx > in 24 to 48 hours you will no longer be able to log on
[ 2009.05.15 02:53:57 ] Icer Xx > goodbye
[ 2009.05.15 02:54:05 ] ME > NOOO
[ 2009.05.15 02:55:47 ] ME > if he'll come back, and forgive me, i'll give u back all your stuff man
[ 2009.05.15 02:56:59 ] ME > ?
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:03 ] ME > oh
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:13 ] Icer Xx > It is my understanding you just paid Captain back?
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:15 ] ME > thank you, for giving me one last opportunity to right what I have wronged
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:20 ] ME > yes, yes, yes
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:35 ] Icer Xx > Thank you ME
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:49 ] ME > captain is awefully quiet
[ 2009.05.15 02:57:55 ] Captain Trautman > i'm here
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:00 ] Captain Trautman > reading
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:07 ] ME > are you alts?
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:08 ] Icer Xx > He doesn't talk very much it seems.
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:19 ] Captain Trautman > i had enought for tonite
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:23 ] Icer Xx > I am an alt, but which character of i may not divulge.
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:32 ] ME > kk
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:32 ] Icer Xx > since the t20 incident
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:38 ] ME > glad you got your isk back, captain
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:44 ] Captain Trautman > as cristal pays i no longer have any interest in proceeding against him
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:50 ] ME > thank you
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:51 ] ME > so much
[ 2009.05.15 02:58:57 ] Captain Trautman > not yet Cristal
[ 2009.05.15 02:59:07 ] ME > but i already paid!
[ 2009.05.15 02:59:27 ] Icer Xx > There you have it Cristal, Captain has no reason to proceed in the termination of your account.
[ 2009.05.15 02:59:54 ] ME > thank you for your mercy, oh highest one
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:04 ] Icer Xx > Thank you for your time and effort in making EVE Online a great online game.
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:12 ] ME > haha
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:15 ] ME > still got ur isks
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:40 ] Captain Trautman > have a great night and sleep tight
[ 2009.05.15 03:00:48 ] ME > u even checked ur wallet?
[ 2009.05.15 03:01:43 ] Captain Trautman > yuo did not pay me anything, i'm dropping this convo and proceed with the report
[ 2009.05.15 03:01:49 ] ME > :(

Lose Some, Win MOAR!

It seemed like a good idea, to tackle the aggressed battle ship on a gate. Or, it did until my capacitor suddenly spilt out into open space, until the Warrior II's slid into the silent void, searching for me, until my Taranis imploded 100m away from being within range of the gate.

I was safe from those two huge, lumbering minmatar Battlecruisers. Even if they could hit me, I'd just dock. Oh, they've started to stick a bunch of drones on me. Simple, I'll just dock up; MWD'ing into range... In range! Why don't they hail my docking request? Suddenly, my Ishkur disintigrates beneath my feat, as I warp away in the pod, I take a look at the station so I can have the station controllers fired. That will prove to be a difficult endevor, seeing as it was actually an abandoned station. -_-.

Quote from the Cartel forums:
Topic: I'm stupid because...

Lanissum: I'm an idiot b/c I've tried to dock at abandoned stations...
Blammo: I'm an idiot because i followed you

Attacking the dueling Battleships seemed like a good idea, until they stopped dueling, and a bunch of reds blobbed me and the unfortunate few who followed me to our collective doom.

Pirating can, at times, be a discouraging profession. This is especially true when one loses something to the tune of 140m ISK in the span of 7 days. Although my wallet doesn't feel it, I like to lose ships as much as the next guy.

On the other hand, such defeatist thoughts quickly leave one's mind when they are agressed by a Raven on a gate. Finding that he did little damage to me, I opted to return fire, and settled into my optimal orbit. Screaming in comms on my catch. As the Raven and I dueled, neither deagressing and jumping, my corpmates ganked a comorant who was foolish enough to aggro them. In the meantime, my speed tanked Vexor was in armor, but so was the Raven. As it entered hull, the Raven, although flown by a two year old capsuleer, split asunder into space.

However, my corpmates had done a minute amount of damage, at the end thus robbing me, and my KB central mind, of a sweet solo kill. After I expressed my ire at certain, un-named corpmates, Kazaji stated:

"Yeah, yeah, sorry about stealing your 'solo' kill. Shouldnt have screamed "Raven autopiloting to Dantumi come!" "Hes engaged me COME!" Ect. :P Good fight though."

The other day, I noticed a noob in system, being the pirate I am, I socially engineered him into a belt with me for 'isk opportunities'. However, our mutual seminar was interrupted before it began, by a Tristan which soon payed the price for interrupting my class in the ways of EvE (Everyone vs Everyone). Then, another Tristan warped in and met a similar fate to my Ishkur's flurry of drones and blasters. Then, I finally got around to the silly little Ibis, who thought I was putting on a show for him or something.

Later, during one of the few roams where I was FC, we probed down a Brutix and Caracal missioning together. As Andrea Skye warped onto the mission gate, and got a point, the rest of us arrived and finished him and his pod, while I ordered Skye enter the mission to get a tackle on the Brutix within before it could escape, after hearing the pleas of it's friend. That done, the Brutix soon fell to our combined onslaught.

On another note, the Cartel has picked up a few new members. One of which is yourownguns. He's only been with us for a few days now, but he's already racked up 30+ kills, using just Incursii and the Thorax. Even an Incursus vs Claw kill too, Python is all the better off for getting new members of this calibre.

Speaking of calibre, I shall be flying my first HAC, a Deimos, in 2 days time. Although some call it the 'Die-most', I would certainly like to see how HAC's perform. Especially since I love assault frigates, in a manner similar to Spectre's love of the Taranis. Obviously, flying them in a gang would be dumb, as they'd just get primaried and destroyed. But for solo work... a Deimos would certainly be a fearsome ship. At any rate, HAC's would at least cost something, as opposed to the pocket change of insurable T1 ships and T2 frigs.