I'm Better

Just as I finished up Tally Raya's new Portable Regenerative Therapy Pod 2000; the com port began to bleep. I rushed across the rather spacious bridge of my new Myrmidon to the console and read the incoming dispatch: "Assemble for fleet roam on Arnher gate."
I ordered the chief, "warp us to the Arnher gate with full deliberate speed!" As the fleet assembled, the gate flashed. Crews were called to battlestations, weapons readied.

A lone typhoon arrived amongst us.
He died a fiery death.

We began to reform for our roam; but every few minutes someone would appear on scan. There was constant action all day long. The end tally was 39 kills and 6 losses (3 frigs, 2 t2 frigs, and 1 bs). We were so busy that the roam never happened...

"Sir, an autopiloting hoarder has warped in!" cried the helmsman. Although in no immediate danger, I habitually assed the situation, there was my Myrmidon and a friend's Dominix arrayed against this very 'formidable' force.

Don't AP haulers in Low Sec.

As we began to reform yet again for the mythical roaming op; a nanoed Rupture jumped in. I only got my warp disruptor on him.

But a killmail is a killmail.

After a busy day, I swapped to my hauler alt and did some shopping. On my way back, I saw the Typhoon pilot we killed awhile ago on his way back to Evati. Alerting my comrades; we readied a gate camp for his second typhoon.

Maybe the third time will be better (for him).

As I put down my log, satisfied with the day's work; the communication console began to blare.

[ 2008.11.30 01:38:11 ] RnProphet > FUCK, I NEED A HAULER NOW
[ 2008.11.30 01:38:17 ] Lanissum > wher?
[ 2008.11.30 01:38:19 ] RnProphet > UNANCHORED TOWER IN ARNHER

I dropped everything and began to put on my hauler alt disguise; only considering the redundancy of the disguise as I leapt aboard my Bestower. [I'm Trader Altz]

[ 2008.11.30 01:39:47 ] Trader Altz > Hauler here
[ 2008.11.30 01:39:51 ] Trader Altz > in Evati, omw to Arnher
[ 2008.11.30 01:39:58 ] Trader Altz > Planet-moon please
[ 2008.11.30 01:40:19 ] RnProphet > have to get back
[ 2008.11.30 01:40:31 ] Trader Altz > What planet moon
[ 2008.11.30 01:40:46 ] Trader Altz > ???
[ 2008.11.30 01:41:09 ] RnProphet > i forgot, have to scan again
[ 2008.11.30 01:41:42 ] RnProphet > V 10

The warp bubble disintegrated around the Bestower; the Tower was just ahead, almost within scooping range. The Crow and Rifter that were flying escort were nearby as I scooped the tower and hightailed it out of there for a station; expecting an ambush at any moment. After the tower was secured, I shot off an email to the CEO of the corp that formerly owned it.

I accidentally found a pos in my hanger named Red Flag Staff.
I have meted out appropriate punishments to the gremlins
responsible for this attrocity.I am willing to give back this pos
to you for 198 mil and a forum post detailing, in regalling fashion,
the exploits of the infamous pirate Lanissum. [Negotiable]

Trader Altz

The CEO explained to me that the pos was in the process of being removed, but that the hauler got ganked in a gate camp mid operation.

[ 2008.11.30 02:12:41 ] Trader Altz > I'm glad I could help you finish the operation :)
[ 2008.11.30 02:12:54 ] Vicegrip > well with a name like you've got
[ 2008.11.30 02:13:02 ] Vicegrip > I wouldn't expect you to do anybody a favor
[Duh, I'm a pirate for god's sake]

He rejected the offer, so I am ferrying the pos to the markets of Jita as I write this post.


Apparently, some of the famed Bastards' luck is rubbing off on me.
And Spectre, I'm better.

Scam ahoy!

As you well know, I make most of my money by scamming people. Last night, on my second attempt at selling overpriced ships to a person, I nailed a 300m deal.
[Slightly edited] Me
[ 2008.11.26 01:12:43 ] A'bir > yes?
[ 2008.11.26 01:12:53 ] A'bir > sup
[ 2008.11.26 01:12:54 ] Me> I'd like to sell you some interesting stuff.
[ 2008.11.26 01:13:20 ] A'bir > sure
[ 2008.11.26 01:13:29 ] Me > Righto; I've got 6 on me, how many would you like?
[ 2008.11.26 01:13:45 ] A'bir > 3
[ 2008.11.26 01:13:47 ] Me > kk
[ 2008.11.26 01:14:04 ] Me > I'll throw em in when your ready
[ 2008.11.26 01:14:14 ] A'bir > go ahead
[ 2008.11.26 01:14:20 ] Me > kk
[ 2008.11.26 01:14:41 ] A'bir > 50 each?
[ 2008.11.26 01:14:44 ] Me > Yep
[ 2008.11.26 01:14:47 ] Me > 150m total
[ 2008.11.26 01:15:04 ] A'bir > gimme all 6 then
[ 2008.11.26 01:15:12 ] Me > kk, that'll be 300m total
[ 2008.11.26 01:15:20 ] A'bir > k
[ 2008.11.26 01:15:26 ] Me > Ready
[Trade completed, 300m richer]
[ 2008.11.26 01:16:00 ] A'bir > why u get rid of 'em?
[ 2008.11.26 01:16:11 ] Me > Namely b/c I just don't feel like keeping them
[ 2008.11.26 01:16:34 ] A'bir > okay, well nice doing business with you
[ 2008.11.26 01:16:39 ] A'bir > why me?
[ 2008.11.26 01:16:39 ] Me > Same, fly safe now
[ 2008.11.26 01:16:49 ] Me > You were at the top of the station guest list; :)
[ 2008.11.26 01:16:54 ] A'bir > haha, win
[ 2008.11.26 01:17:03 ] A'bir > thanks, bud, take care, and good luck in Jita
[ 2008.11.26 01:17:08 ] Me > You too; ty
[ 2008.11.26 01:17:10 ] A'bir > o7

I sure wish I could see the looks on the faces of some of these people who fall so badly for this scam.

Today, I convoed an '03 char with the same deal, however, I started off badly by pasting in a response for a different convo.

[ 2008.11.27 21:48:03 ] Me > Me > You can resell them for about 30m profit per ship (I'd be doing that If I had the contracts to do so)
[ 2008.11.27 21:48:33 ] Kerzogg > resell what
[ 2008.11.27 21:48:47 ] Me > Lol, Interesting Stuff
[ 2008.11.27 21:48:54 ] Me > I'm selling them to you for 50m a pop
[ 2008.11.27 21:49:38 ] Me > You interested?
[ 2008.11.27 21:50:01 ] Kerzogg > sure, i will take 4 for now
[ 2008.11.27 21:50:09 ] Me > Kk, that'll be 200m total
[ 2008.11.27 21:50:17 ] Me > I'll throw them in when your ready
[ 2008.11.27 21:50:42 ] Me > Ready now
[ 2008.11.27 21:50:42 ] Me > ready

[200m into my pocket]

[ 2008.11.27 21:51:15 ] Me > Your an 03 player
[ 2008.11.27 21:51:20 ]Me > and you fell fot this 0_o
[ 2008.11.27 21:52:01 ] Me > Have you ever been scammed before?
[ 2008.11.27 21:52:44 ] Kerzogg > nope , trusting guy shouldnt play i guess
[ 2008.11.27 21:53:01 ] Me > Not really
[ 2008.11.27 21:53:19 ] Kerzogg > well thanks for the lesson, can i get my money back
[ 2008.11.27 21:53:17 ] Me > Mind if I ask how much isk you have left?
[ 2008.11.27 21:53:34 ] Kerzogg > 252 mil isk
[ 2008.11.27 21:53:36 ] Me > kk
[ 2008.11.27 21:53:52 ] Kerzogg > Minus your fee of course

[What fee?]
I give it some thought, this guy is probably sweating/angry/not thinking straight since he apparently wants his money back... so I decide to try and play this guy a bit longer.

[ 2008.11.27 21:53:56 ] Me > I'lll give you your money back
[ 2008.11.27 21:54:03 ] Me > since your a good sport
[ 2008.11.27 21:54:31 ] Kerzogg > i will even keep the ships for 4 mil each
[ 2008.11.27 21:54:42 ] Me > Right

I create a contract to give him his money back. However, instead of actually giving 200m to him, it just takes 200m more from him. I make it and let the ball roll.

[ 2008.11.27 21:54:56 ] Me > Contract created
[ 2008.11.27 21:55:11 ] Me > Just accept and you've got your money; I would appreciate it if you would send back 16m

Add another touch of extraneous info for the mark to think about.

[ 2008.11.27 21:55:14 ] Me > to cover the Interesting Stuff

He accepted the contract, depositing 200m more into my wallet. My excitement shows in my poor grammar on the next line. [Good grammar is a good thing for a scammer]

[ 2008.11.27 21:55:58 ] Me > RIghto; and the 16m?
[ 2008.11.27 21:56:39 ] Kerzogg > i sent it to you by right clicking on your anme and giving money\
[ 2008.11.27 21:56:41 ] Me > Thanks alot m8

He actually sent me the 16m :) I figure that I might as well tell him that he's been taught a second lesson in one session XD.

[ 2008.11.27 21:57:02 ] Me > You should have about 30m now
[ 2008.11.27 21:57:30 ] Kerzogg > well, thanks for the ships, and the lesson too.

[Correction, LESSONS]

[ 2008.11.27 21:57:34 ] Me > Np
[ 2008.11.27 21:58:13 ] Me > Have a nice day

So, in a total of about an hour and a half, I made 716m off of two guys. I also made a few hundred mil off of other small time buyers too.
Scamming is almost as fun as pirating.
Almost.

Oh Dear...

Shields down, armor taking damage sir! Shouted my crew chief. I considered my options; it was now apparent that I would not be able to defeat this myrmidon in my thorax even though the pilot was younger than myself.

After a moment's deliberation, I gave the order to deagress, and mwd to the gate; pronto.
Sir, our MWD is not working!
Shit.

I was going down; about to lose my first ship in almost a month. I rushed to the pod, dragging TallyRaya's newly regenerated corpse all the way. Brushing aside panicked crew members with practiced ease, I readied the pod for ejection.

After getting my pod out of there; I had a chat with the victor, he explained to me that they actually did implement the warpscram kills mwd idea. As I was unaware of this change, I charged into battle, safe in the knowledge that I could just mwd out if necessary.

Obviously, I was wrong; but I think that this is a good thing. For starters, afterburners and warp scramblers are now viable pvp mods on cruisers. Just because I lost a ship learning this fact doesn't make it 'bad'.

I will, however, go over the release notes before getting into any more fights.

Oh, the Irony?!

Haven't had much time to do eve due to RL circumstances right now-- but I'm still there :)

As for the irony; eve-pirate.com posted a story [copy of a blog post] that I submitted eons ago.