Empire: Total War Shoutcast #6 part 1 (of 2)

Empire: Total War Shoutcast #5

Empire: Total War Shoutcasts #3 & #4

Empire: Total War Shoutcast #2

This fight features:

Me, as Prussia
vs.

Doodoo Butter

Was a bit static at first, neither side willing to engage; merely exchanging shots on the extreme flanks. But then it hit the fan...

Empire: Total War Shoutcast #1

Recently, E:TW added the new grassy flatlands map. This has significantly increased the number of players looking for a fight.

One of those players was your's truly. This fight features:

Me, as Prussia
vs.
Colonel Williams, as Great Britain

Anatomy of the Con

Bored witless during missions?

Unlucky in lootdrops and ransoms?

Frustrated in your attempts at scamming?

Well fear not, my compatriots, for the Master of the Art of Scamming is about to impart his secrets upon yee favored ones.

Step 1. Gather up a decent number of renamed 'faction' ships. You'll need at least 6 'faction' cruisers and 2 'faction' battleships.

Explanation: The cruisers are for all the small fry who have maybe 1 or 2 hundred mil, but are still stupid enough to fall for your scam. The battleships are for the international playboy types who have deep pockets, there's nothing wrong with having a bunch of 'faction' battleships, just keep it believable. After all, if you have 20 'faction' battleships... that's gonna be hard to explain.

Step 2. Create a believable cover story which:

A: Explains your need for selling this ships now, and at a reduced price

B: Explains your lack of contracts Explanation: Anyone can sell a 'Navy Mega' for it's proper price. But what are the chances that some1 will buy your fake navy mega over a legit one? Slim, probably. You need something to entice more people towards your deal, and hopefully snag that one guy who will believe it.

That thing, for me at least, was a reduced price. Eg, I sell my navy vexors for 50m (not 80-100m) and navy megas for 300m (not 400m). I also make sure to point out the 'normal' price to all my potential customers.

My preferred cover story is that I'm moving to Jita, and stand to make more money than I'm losing in this 'deal'. Also, all my contracts are tied up in couriers.

Step 3. Look at your station guest list, and start convoing 4-5 at a time, proposing your deal and informing any parties of your deal.

Explanation: This very efficiently allows you to reach 100+ people very quickly. Pretty much the only people who talk with you are interested.

Step 4: Reel them in.

Explanation: This takes practice, and an understanding of the minutae of human interaction. You must gain their trust, understand what motivates them to take your deal, and what hinders them in doing so. For the most part, greed and distrust are the motivators and deal killers.

4b. Let them go, if necessary.

Explanation: If they clearly state they are not interested/want a contract etc. Just let them go, play aloof ship dealer who knows he'll have no problem selling stuff. Don't waste five minutes begging them to buy your ship. Often, I've received convos later when they've reconsidered and want to deal. Also, that five minutes you waste on them can be spent on someone more credulous.

5. Profit!

5a. All tears are recorded in chat logs, try and keep them going on particularly big sells, they often create a large amount of delicious tears.

5b. Yesterday, in the span of 35 minutes, I made 2.2 Billion isk. Below is the donor list, as well as selected chat logs.

Amount, in Mil. Name. Eve Time.

850,000,000------- Divad Ebur------14:30

600,000,000------ Goliath Dark------14:14

400,000,000------- Amira Lana------14:31

300,000,000-------- Inferatus-------13:56

50,000,000-------- freelander1------14:02

NOTE: I recommend you use a different story and ship type (vexor, mega) than mine. If only because many people have interacted with me and may thus be onto you (and vice versa). Some systems I recommend: Amarr, Dodixie, Hek.

Apendix A: Chat log of a 850m score:

ME > Hey there

ME > I presume you're interested in my offer?

Divad Ebur > yes i sure am

ME > Righto, I have 2 navy megas, and 5 navy vexors

Divad Ebur > the vexor still avail?

ME > yeppers

Divad Ebur > good deal

Divad Ebur > how about 250 for the 5 vexors? and both megas for 300 each?

ME > Um, sure

I'm stoked, but don't let him know it.

ME > Thats like 850m?

Play carefree dude, don't be piratey and '850m or your life!'. That doesn't work here.

Divad Ebur > 850mill yep

ME > I'll throw them all in whenever you're ready

Put the burden of initiative on him, make him think about what HE has to do, not you (and thus the ships)

Divad Ebur > k

ME > Do you have 850m?

Play hard to satisfy, if he thinks you're afraid of getting scammed by him, he won't be that scared of you.

Divad Ebur > yep. 1.7bil

ME > kk

But don't take 'I'm afraid of scams' too far

ME > There they all are

ME > just waiting on you now m8

ME > 850m

ME > Ready

Divad Ebur > thanks

850m into my pocket.

ME > np

No problem, at all

Divad Ebur > enjoy your afternoon!

ME > I will lawl

Indeed, I will

Apendix B: 600m Score

ME > Hey there

Goliath Dark > o/

Goliath Dark > Megathron Navy Issues.. 300m each hm?

ME > I presume you're interested in my offer? (yeah, 2 of them)

ME > I also have 5 navy vexors

Goliath Dark > i take them if they are navy

Goliath Dark > the mega's

ME > All of them? 0_o

ME > oh, lol kk

ME > There they are, 600m please

ME > Ready

600m into my pocket

Goliath Dark > fuck i dont think^^ busterd lol

Hehe, speed is a good thing too, they don't think if they hurry.

ME > lol

Goliath Dark > now i have to find a idiot

ME > You didnt

ME > Shouldn't take too long

ME > How much have you got left?

Goliath Dark > ^^ Goliath Dark > 93 mio

ME > lol

ME > owch owch owch

Owch owowowow

Apendix C: 400m Score

ME > What would you like to buy?

Amira Lana > all

ME > 2 Navy Megas and 5 Navy vexors?

ME > thats like 850m

Amira Lana > mega and only 2 vexor pleas

Amira Lana > for 400m

ME > Show me the isk then please

Amira Lana > hallo, what this

Amira Lana > you do acontract with 400m

ME > I don't have any contracts

Deflect the inevitable contract request in any reasonable way, it rarely works, but when it does...

Amira Lana > i accipt

300m for the 'navy mega'

ME > Ready when you are

ME > 100m for the two navy vexors

Amira Lana > ok

100m for the 'navy vexors'

ME > tyvm

Amira Lana > cu

Apendix D: Hate mail

I don't even know what the ordering of these are. A victim, Amira Lana (400m), and a few of her buddies mail me with vague threats of police action etc. Enjoy.

2009.08.23 19:44

2009.08.23 14:52

ME

you are a very bad

the ships are not navy ships, only from you the names.

you must giv me the 400 million back.

I give you 24 hour to retern the deal.

if not, then i send a pitition to ccp

hier is your convo opening:

2009.08.22 14:02

Here is my convo pasting.

----------------------------------------------------------

2009.08.23 15:11

hallo ME ,

this is avery very very bad.

and a big swindling, you are not gamer, you are a shark.

it is nat the 250m or 300m loos, what you doing it is not fair.

amira

------------------------------------------------------------

2009.08.23 19:44

2009.08.23 16:01

hi ME

with it I no other ones would walk against you undertakes, I ask you to accept the return contract.

I give you 24 hours for it, then I will write in CCP a Pitition, because of deception.

Also a police announcement is not excluded.

so to make it easier, take back your deceitful trade.

Amira Lana

-------------------------------

2009.08.23 16:32

yours amounted against amira lana

hi ME ,

is ashamed for this action

nevertheless, you are a player and no swindler.

so return Amira Lana her money and take your ships.

We want no problems with you

Jafar Aljabbar

-----------------------------------

2009.08.23 19:45

2009.08.23 17:16

hi ME

this is audacious, audacious amounted.

you give a normal ship a navy name and sell it as a navy ship.

However, this is not clever because CCP has everybody infos and you can get many problems, all that because of 300m

this is a shit

I Accidentally the Blue...

As the warp tunnel collapsed around my Taranis, ste sensors began peering into the depths of the asteroid belt.

It wasn't long before they found a dueling Taranis and Crusader. I instantly set my Taranis for full speed towards the duo. Just before I reached engagement range, the enemy Taranis took a direct hit in the bow, tumbled, and then disintegrated in a fiery explosion.

My Taranis' warp jammer and propulsion webifier were pushed beyond their operational limits, as I expected the Crusader to attempt to flee or hold it's distance.

Surprisingly, the Crusader sat there until I finally reached it and pointed it. It didn't do anything, until my blaster batteries began to pound away at it.

As all interceptor fights are, it was short and brutal, but I managed to land a direct hit on him while in 30% structure myself.

I immediatly pointed the pod, counting on the speed of the attack to prevent the enemy capsuleer from escaping in time. This time, my tackling gear managed to nab the pod.

I initiated a convo with the pilot, in an attempt to honorably ransom this foe. Suddenly, klaxons blared! A Republic Fleet Firetail had just landed! My ship, in it's current state, was useless. I immediately destroyed the pod, and attempted to escape.

But I was too slow, the warp drive was already shut down. My improved senses could already perceive the incoming, killer, blow about to land upon my Taranis. I instantly initiated escape proceedures, so as to avoid the fate of my prior victim. Fortunately, I managed to escape.

I realized that in my haste, I hadn't read the convo with the Crusader pilot, opening..:

[ 2009.08.26 00:41:21 ] Triksterism > We're blue

[ 2009.08.26 00:41:23 ] Triksterism > you fucking douche



Oh shit... he wasn't kidding.